uuummmm... is he choking??!!

[Demamma]

:sorry: So sorry OGG. Do not feel upset with yourself. Sounds like you have a soft loving heart. Be thankful he is not hurting now. It is hard when we love creatures. We want to do everything we can to make it better. Some things are beyond our help. May you have peace.

 

[MaggieJ]

Sad ending... but please don't feel bad about your decision to give him a little time. I think it was sensible and fair. So don't beat yourself up, y'hear? (((HUGS)))

 

[Piper]

Maybe he actually enjoyed the outing, and the car ride, acted on him like it would a fussy child, even if he did have some pain, he may have actually had a somewhat peaceful end. *hugs*

 

[ohiogoatgirl]

thanks guys. its just kinda making me mad. i have to put a goat down because it has Meningeal Worm and i didnt get to it in time... just several things at once makin me frustrated.

 

[ZRabbits]

thanks guys. its just kinda making me mad. i have to put a goat down because it has Meningeal Worm and i didnt get to it in time... just several things at once makin me frustrated.

So, so sorry to hear about your goat. Boy, no wonder you are frustrated. Hope this bad time passes and the rest of your livestock is doing well.

Karen

 

[ohiogoatgirl]

thanks guys. its just kinda making me mad. i have to put a goat down because it has Meningeal Worm and i didnt get to it in time... just several things at once makin me frustrated.

So, so sorry to hear about your goat. Boy, no wonder you are frustrated. Hope this bad time passes and the rest of your livestock is doing well.

Karen

hahaha i wish that was all that was going on. dad is mad at me for not getting hired anywhere and not having my liscence (i cant drive myself to get it, obviously. thats all i'm waiting on. had my permit going on two years now)... dad's girlfriend and her daughter are moving in and of course i'm getting put in the basement (its only half cemented. half the walls are cement block, the other half are sandstone block and dirt. its spider-opilis to say the least).
and then there is that little tidbit that i'm engaged and going to my fiance's house week after next to meet all the rest of his family and make it public. and then call home to my family to tell them.

:sharkisland:

so ya.. bit frustrated/crazy hahhaha

 

[ZRabbits]

thanks guys. its just kinda making me mad. i have to put a goat down because it has Meningeal Worm and i didnt get to it in time... just several things at once makin me frustrated.

So, so sorry to hear about your goat. Boy, no wonder you are frustrated. Hope this bad time passes and the rest of your livestock is doing well.

Karen

hahaha i wish that was all that was going on. dad is mad at me for not getting hired anywhere and not having my liscence (i cant drive myself to get it, obviously. thats all i'm waiting on. had my permit going on two years now)... dad's girlfriend and her daughter are moving in and of course i'm getting put in the basement (its only half cemented. half the walls are cement block, the other half are sandstone block and dirt. its spider-opilis to say the least).
and then there is that little tidbit that i'm engaged and going to my fiance's house week after next to meet all the rest of his family and make it public. and then call home to my family to tell them.

:sharkisland:

so ya.. bit frustrated/crazy hahhaha

Well hoping that the meet with the new future in-laws goes over well. I think you need to get out of the depressing place you are being put in, and start your life a new.

Definitely a bit frustrating. It's tough being abandoned by your own family so they can make room for their "new" life. Shame they already wrote you off as "moving on with the fiance". Hoping you don't have to live in the basement with the spiders for long.

Karen

 

[MamaSheepdog]

i have to put a goat down because it has Meningeal Worm and i didnt get to it in time.

I'd never heard of that, so of course had to google it. :roll:

That sounds awful! Living in an arid climate has its advantages- we don't have as many nasty parasites here. It sounds like you need to keep a careful eye on the rest of your herd, and might want to treat them for it even if they aren't showing any symptoms.

http://www.tennesseemeatgoats.com/artic ... lworm.html

and then there is that little tidbit that i'm engaged and going to my fiance's house week after next to meet all the rest of his family and make it public. and then call home to my family to tell them.

Isn't that a bit backwards? ldgeezer: Back in my day it was customary to ask a girl's father for his daughter's hand in marriage before getting engaged. Your father will have a lot more respect for your future husband if he asks him before you announce it to his family.

 

[MaggieJ]

I think different customs must apply in different places and times, MSD. Even when I was young :wheelcha: that formal request had gone out of style here.

I was 21 in 1971 when I got engaged and we had all just been through the turbulent Sixties when women's lib really caught on. I would have greatly resented the implication that I needed Dad's permission. I was glad to have his blessing though.

 

[MamaSheepdog]

MaggieJ, you are probably right, and it has gone out of fashion. But I think it is a sad thing. Mothers get to experience so much that fathers don't- her babies first steps and all of that. Being asked for his daughter's hand in marriage has got to be the most special milestone a father has, second only to giving her away at the altar.

I think it shows respect and a certain amount of fortitude of the young man involved as well- it can't be an easy thing to do, since Daddy knows what is on a young man's mind in regard to his daughter! :lol:

I know that my dad was surprised that Hubs asked him, but he was so very pleased. I know he respected him for it, and I think it helped to cement the bond between them.

 

[MaggieJ]

It may help the young man and father to bond, but the part that sticks in my craw is that it makes the girl seem like a possession to be handed from father to husband, the way it was in the dark ages. :x But don't mind me. I know I am too sensitive on topics like this. I think it has to do with growing up in "interesting" times. :groovyhippie:

 

[MamaSheepdog]

MaggieJ, flower child!

Honestly, my dad knew and I knew and Hubs knew that I would do whatever I wanted. But I still think it is the right thing to do.

 

[Piper]

MSD, You are a stay at home, charity supporting, homeschooling mother, who seems to have an husband that supports you, the kids and your interests => 200%. It also seems, as if, your father may have been much like your husband. From what you have written, I kinda envy you.
- Not all fathers, are such, that you would want them to have leverage over your future husband or life -- or the fathers believe that their daughters should make their own decisions and that the future husband go into the marriage as a equal partnership.
- If your husband ever lost his job, would you be alright with him being a house husband and you being the breadwinner?
- The situation that ohiogoatgirl has, in looking at a new stepmother, and the stepmother's daughter moving in - and her dad does not seem to have asked her, how she would get along with the new additions...

 

[ohiogoatgirl]

i see both sides of it as far as asking the father. i think he may ask for his blessing or something of that sort before we make it public but i'm not sure. and i also kinda get the same "dark ages" feel as someone else said. kinda like *look both ways* someone gonna come out from each family and start arguing about dowry/bride price? hahahaha

my dad has asked me and my younger sisters opinions about his girlfriend and her daughter and about them moving in, etc. i told him what i thought and where i know things are going to bump and grind between people, etc. but i also know that he is my dad and i wont change his mind about such things. just as he is my dad but he wont likely change my mind about such things.

plus me and my fiance (heehee its still funny to say that lol) are working on getting him moved over near here and all so we can find a place. actually looking into one place that we both really like but not sure we can afford it :/<br /><br />__________ Sun Sep 16, 2012 1:58 pm __________<br /><br />plus this way i can use it as a bit of a match under fiance's butt to get things moving on all that

and if i get some inside pets no one can yell about noise or possible smell cause wont be anything from the basement. and i already clean and cook and everything so it helps my cinderella story hahaha. only i will have dwarf hamsters instead of mice.

 

[Piper]

and i already clean and cook and everything so it helps my cinderella story hahaha. only i will have dwarf hamsters instead of mice.

:rotfl:
Okay, not quite Cinderella. With the experience you are getting, all you 'do' seem to need, is the car. You might update your resume. Do you have a resume? You defiantly seem motivated.
:stirpot2: :fryegg: :farmer3: :reading1: :camera: :typing:

 

[MamaSheepdog]

MSD, You are a stay at home, charity supporting, homeschooling mother, who seems to have an husband that supports you, the kids and your interests => 200%.

True and not true.

I have had to fight for what I believe in, because I go against the societal norm so often- homebirth, not vaccinating, unschooling... poor Hubs has had to adjust to these ever more radical ideas over time, and the unschooling almost cost us our marriage.

But I am very stubborn when I am fighting for those I hold dearest to my heart, and I wont back down. Thankfully my decisions seem to have been wise ones and my Hubs has come to see the wisdom of my decisions. He now supports them wholeheartedly because he sees the results and we have had such positive feedback regarding our kids.

It also seems, as if, your father may have been much like your husband. From what you have written, I kinda envy you.

I am a first generation American, and my dad was very old-school European. His job as he saw it was to provide for his family monetarily, but the actual raising of us kids was up to his wife. He wasn't an involved, loving, demonstrative father- if you envy me, envy me for my mother. She was the ultimate nurturer, and no-one could ask for a better mom.

Not all fathers, are such, that you would want them to have leverage over your future husband or life -- or the fathers believe that their daughters should make their own decisions and that the future husband go into the marriage as a equal partnership.

In this so-called "enlightened age", I doubt there are many women or men that would respect a father's wishes against a marriage. It is more of a formality and a gesture of respect to ask for a father's permission to wed his daughter.

If your husband ever lost his job, would you be alright with him being a house husband and you being the breadwinner?

Yes. I question my ability to be the sole provider since I primarily worked in retail, but if I could earn enough I wouldn't be opposed to it. My Hubs is a good cook, does laundry, and cleans house, so he would make a good "house-husband". My brother was a stay at home dad when his son was young because his wife had a better job and insurance plan.

The situation that ohiogoatgirl has, in looking at a new stepmother, and the stepmother's daughter moving in - and her dad does not seem to have asked her, how she would get along with the new additions...

I certainly wouldn't ask that of an underage child, but I might use it as a motivating factor for an "adult offspring" living at home.

kinda like *look both ways* someone gonna come out from each family and start arguing about dowry/bride price?

My brothers insist that they are still paying off Hubs because he was willing to marry me despite my addiction to animals! They assert that they couldn't have gotten me "married off" if they didn't pay for it! :lol:

 

[Piper]

plus this way i can use it as a bit of a match under fiance's butt to get things moving on all that

and if i get some inside pets no one can yell about noise or possible smell cause wont be anything from the basement. and i already clean and cook and everything so it helps my cinderella story hahaha.

- When I was married, I was a subservient wife, and did not realize it, until divorce, going to college, making a resume, and then comparing the resume to other resumes - to see how much I could make and the job market. It also gave me a better indication of why my ex-husband and I had problems. I had a business "registered home child care" and my parents had a bit of money. I figured that a marriage was a full partnership, my ex, was just going in the path of least resistance. Taking money from my parents, but then 'fussing' about it, yet doing it again. My ex was into drama, and I am glad I am divorced.
- If it were me, I would ask your dad his opinion. I looked back and read some of your posts. Your dad has been there, when your goat had problems, and did ask the family before he decided to move in his fiancee. Has your dad, met your beau, even if your dad does not realize he is your fiancee? Your dad seems like he has his feet on the ground, and any guy you would not want him to 'know', that there may be a reason for it.
- You do need to show a bit more independence. Get your driver license and make a resume, it can be eye opening and fun.
- Some people that like animals better, than other people, can be easy going and low drama. Animals provide so much drama, and ups and down, that gossiping about other humans, seems boring. Make sure that your future beau, likes taking care of animals as well as you do, and that he is as stable under pressure, including money pressure. Other wise it can turn into a drama filled, abusive relationship, that all the talking, is about the relationship. You are used to taking care and supporting animals, and probably would have an easy low stress mother hood, can you say the same of him? Or will you have to support him emotionally, as he becomes jealous of how much time and money the animals/kids, take?
- How independent is he? Does he have a job? Does he support you and the animals or are you just hoping he does?
- If he is showing any stress, right now, like a buck that shows a little snot at being stressed, he may have a problem that will go full out.
- What is he like? Someone you see supporting you, the rest of your life, or will you and your dad be supporting him?

__________ Mon Sep 17, 2012 5:20 am __________

In this so-called "enlightened age", I doubt there are many women or men that would respect a father's wishes against a marriage. It is more of a formality and a gesture of respect to ask for a father's permission to wed his daughter.

- If I were her, I would be asking my father, his opinion - before the guy ever thought of engagement.

My brothers insist that they are still paying off Hubs because he was willing to marry me despite my addiction to animals! They assert that they couldn't have gotten me "married off" if they didn't pay for it!
I have know others, that have not been as supported. I am not saying lucky, because it seems like the people around you, go into things with their eyes wide open, and do their research before hand.

He wasn't an involved, loving, demonstrative father- if you envy me, envy me for my mother. She was the ultimate nurturer, and no-one could ask for a better mom.

I am an only child, I did have the supportive mother, but did not have the examples of brothers.
- My dad did support, my decision to marry who I wanted. My mom wanted me to move back home, when I left the Air Force, and go to college. I should have listened to my mom.

 

[ohiogoatgirl]

plus this way i can use it as a bit of a match under fiance's butt to get things moving on all that

and if i get some inside pets no one can yell about noise or possible smell cause wont be anything from the basement. and i already clean and cook and everything so it helps my cinderella story hahaha.

- When I was married, I was a subservient wife, and did not realize it, until divorce, going to college, making a resume, and then comparing the resume to other resumes - to see how much I could make and the job market. It also gave me a better indication of why my ex-husband and I had problems. I had a business "registered home child care" and my parents had a bit of money. I figured that a marriage was a full partnership, my ex, was just going in the path of least resistance. Taking money from my parents, but then 'fussing' about it, yet doing it again. My ex was into drama, and I am glad I am divorced.
- If it were me, I would ask your dad his opinion. I looked back and read some of your posts. Your dad has been there, when your goat had problems, and did ask the family before he decided to move in his fiancee. Has your dad, met your beau, even if your dad does not realize he is your fiancee? Your dad seems like he has his feet on the ground, and any guy you would not want him to 'know', that there may be a reason for it.
i have talked to dad about what he thinks of him. we have talked about both of our shortcomings. and i agree that i should have my liscence. i took the drivers ed course in tenth grade and my parents had just gotten divorced and i was living with my mom and she never took me to get my permit. i didnt make a big fuss about it then because it hadnt bothered me and i thought she was trying to get it. well i later found out that she had the money and all, she just never took me. i really dont understand why.
my dad is there for things like that but he has his moments too. the siding for the house is still sitting in piles in the yard (that have been moved 3 times now) and have been out there for two years now and still the house in not covered. as can be said by the tyvek tatters around some of the windows. and there are other things but i really dont like to thinik about them all and list them because its just frustrating for me. i'll just say that i have had several people ask me at times who the child is, me or dad. its just his behavior. i have learned that if i ask three times every day for three days and it doesnt happen then i either do it myself or it doesnt happen.
yes my dad has met my fiance. though only met him as my boyfriend.
- You do need to show a bit more independence. Get your driver license and make a resume, it can be eye opening and fun.
i agree. i am looking for jobs but its real small town and small town politics. i have hired everywhere except gas stations everywhere in the surrounding ~50miles. several of them more then once. dad believes i should call every single day. i call twice a week and have had them tell me to stop calling only after the second call. and of course about half the places i put in apps when i call say they arent hiring :evil:
- Some people that like animals better, than other people, can be easy going and low drama. Animals provide so much drama, and ups and down, that gossiping about other humans, seems boring. Make sure that your future beau, likes taking care of animals as well as you do, and that he is as stable under pressure, including money pressure. Other wise it can turn into a drama filled, abusive relationship, that all the talking, is about the relationship. You are used to taking care and supporting animals, and probably would have an easy low stress mother hood, can you say the same of him? Or will you have to support him emotionally, as he becomes jealous of how much time and money the animals/kids, take?
he has some animal experience but not alot. he really likes the animals. but they are mine and i dont expect him or anyone else to take care of them for me. i want them, they are my responsibility. he is keen in helping when he can no matter what i'm doing.
i am a very laid back person. i think all the drama people create is so pointless. i ignore it all. he is low stress that i have seen. i mean i havent really seen him get mad about anything. and i've already said to him, as well as anyone i've dated, that if you hit you better expect to get it back just as hard. i dont put up with people like that. i'm very low stress but the second you double cross me yuou better run because i'll kick yer butt and you'll be out the door fore ya know what hit ya.
- How independent is he? Does he have a job? Does he support you and the animals or are you just hoping he does?
he has a job and is looking for other jobs as well. he is currently living with his family and helps supposrt them with his part time job he has now.
he supports my animals. we have a very similar dream of a homestead and goals, etc.
- If he is showing any stress, right now, like a buck that shows a little snot at being stressed, he may have a problem that will go full out.
- What is he like? Someone you see supporting you, the rest of your life, or will you and your dad be supporting him?
my first boyfriend and second boyfriend i learned that very well. one was severely depressed and though he thought he liked farm life bit he really couldnt handle any of it other then a small hobby garden. and even that wasnt well with him really. the second was in a wheelchair with a muscualr dystrophy condition. and i realized after not long that we were complete opposites in our goals and what we wanted in life.
__________ Mon Sep 17, 2012 5:20 am __________

In this so-called "enlightened age", I doubt there are many women or men that would respect a father's wishes against a marriage. It is more of a formality and a gesture of respect to ask for a father's permission to wed his daughter.

- If I were her, I would be asking my father, his opinion - before the guy ever thought of engagement.

My brothers insist that they are still paying off Hubs because he was willing to marry me despite my addiction to animals! They assert that they couldn't have gotten me "married off" if they didn't pay for it!
I have know others, that have not been as supported. I am not saying lucky, because it seems like the people around you, go into things with their eyes wide open, and do their research before hand.

He wasn't an involved, loving, demonstrative father- if you envy me, envy me for my mother. She was the ultimate nurturer, and no-one could ask for a better mom.

I am an only child, I did have the supportive mother, but did not have the examples of brothers.
- My dad did support, my decision to marry who I wanted. My mom wanted me to move back home, when I left the Air Force, and go to college. I should have listened to my mom.

 

[OneAcreFarm]

We are totally hijacking this thread, but I am gonna put my two cents worth in here.....

I have an awesome Dad...God gave him to me when I was 1 day old because my birth-father was too irresponsible to be a Dad. He was always strict, but fair. Every single bad relationship I ever had, and I had a few, were guys that my Dad did not approve of. He never told me I could not see them or anything like that, he just shared his feelings on why he disapproved. Of course, I did not listen....not for many years. My husband of 12 years was the only one that he wholeheartedly approved and his good judgement has been verified time and time again over the years. I know not everyone has the advantage of having a Dad like mine, but if you do....listen closely if he disapproves of someone....there is usually a very good reason.