Feeling Bothered

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ladysown

ladysown

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Not putting this in the "I'm angry section" as I'm not angry, just feeling bothered and concerned.

About 2 years ago (maybe 2.5 years by now?) not entirely sure.
I had someone who wanted to buy a rabbit from me. This person has purchased rabbits from me in the past and they always waffled on what they wanted, how much they wanted to spend, what they really wanted to get, would I take trades instead? And so on.

I told her sure, but she needed to commit and she needed to send a deposit in.

She waffled for two weeks.
In the meantime someone else said "hey, can I buy that rabbit from you?"
Can you deliver her on thus and such date and oh..I'll pay you a delivery fee when you do so.

So two days later I sold that rabbit.
The person who wanted to buy the rabbit got in a snit. MAJOR SNIT. I wanted that rabbit, you ignored my emails (didn't get them during the two week wait period).

Stated bad talking me to everyone they knew.
A rabbity friend said.. Don't let it bother you it will blow over.

TWO YEARS LATER said person is STILL in a snit and actively going out of their way to tell people NOT to buy rabbits from me.

This person is costing me sales and I can't/won't confront this person....as this person is highly aggressive and I've been advised to just stay clear as anything will just make it worse.

I don't know what to do.
I don't think there is anything I can do

It's just VERY frustrating... particularly when people don't want to and won't listen to the other side of the story.

The person gets some facts straight.
1. It's true I don't show a lot. Four shows a year fits in to my life as most shows are a seven hour drive on a Saturday.
2. It's true.. I breed meat mutts and used to breed harlequins, which aren't known for their stellar meat qualities...but judges stateside who saw my rabbits from an active shower LOVED the meat and type that I was getting. (that fellow showed alot of my rabbits until his life got too busy).

But everything else is just the bad-mouthing some folks get into.

I don't understand the mindset.

It's just bothersome and I work hard not to let it be hurtful.. but sometimes, sometimes ... it just is.

Anyways, I'm just feeling a bit bothered by it as this is twice in one week that I've been informed of this action. One person came anyways and just said "to give you a heads up this is what's happening", and the other person just chose to avoid me.
 
Were it me, I'd take out a newspaper add stating " [name of snit] did not confirm her desire to purchase a rabbit by placing a deposit in a reasonable amount of time and, only committed to actually buying the rabbit AFTER another buyer had already placed a deposit for the rabbit. She was given 14 days to place her deposit, she failed to do so and, is now upset due to her inability to commit to purchasing the rabbit. Please ignore comments from this person when considering the purchase of a rabbit."
 
My mother always said, beware of those who gossip about others behind their back. What are they saying about you behind your back?

This lady sounds like one of the people my mother was referring to. It is a shame people are listening to her.
 
Sorry you're having to deal with that. Do you advertise online or some other written form? You could post a note once again stating your policy about holding fees, time, etc-- and then put in "please remember, if you don't follow these policies your rabbit may no longer be available. We have had a customer who lost out on her choice of rabbit a few years ago and is still upset! Please prevent yourself from following in her footsteps and do the right steps to get your pet.". Something along those lines that sounds like your voice. Maybe it would help balance the gossip. (Maybe not, but it would make me feel better that you can at least get your side of the story out w/out having to resort to her nastiness.). Good luck; for what it's worth life usually deals with people like that, but it sure seems to be taking a long time!
 
If someone told be "such and such promised me a rabbit and sold it to someone else" I would think--- hmmm I wonder what she did or said to make a breeder not want to sell her a rabbit. I would think she did something. Hopefully people will sense there is something wrong with her not you.
 
the reluctant farmer":363ds5xr said:
You could post a note once again stating your policy about holding fees, time, etc-- and then put in "please remember, if you don't follow these policies your rabbit may no longer be available. We have had a customer who lost out on her choice of rabbit a few years ago and is still upset! Please prevent yourself from following in her footsteps and do the right steps to get your pet.".
Click to expand...
This sounds like a good idea to me. It could go on each listing. :)
 
A verbal war is useless frustration. Take the higher road and when informed
about the verbal assaults tell those relaying the gossip the truth. Sooner or
later, the truth will circulate throughout the group and the naysayer will be
exposed for what they really are. It will give everyone pause about any thing
the griper may say.

Loudmouths are their own worst enemy. Like crying wolf....people will tire
of their continual complaining and avoid them. They'll end up talking to themselves.

grumpy.
 
I tend to ignore things like this, but I can understand your frustration.

If I were you, I would play "consider the source". If this person is carrying on two years after the event, I sincerely doubt you are the only person she has had a run in with, and I doubt even more that you are the only person she is badmouthing. I would chalk it up to someone with issues that, at their root, have nothing to do with you, and everything to do with them. And I would do my best to let it go.
 
thank you everyone, it's great knowing I have some place to go to chat about these things.

Most of the time I do a great job of ignoring the situation. I can't DO anything about it, so wasting time worrying on it doesn't help anything, and just stresses me out.

It's just when I'm aware of the ramifications twice in one week it's like Oh COME ON.. GET OVER IT ALREADY.

I do keep things in writing on my blog.
I will make it even clearer.

It just sometimes.... is well...rather bothersome. :)
 
I don't know the laws where you live but most places in the US have laws against harming someone's business or harming someone's reputation. Here I would be able to sue her for damaging my reputation as well as harming my income if I had an established business selling rabbits. I would only need the proof from the people who told me about what she is doing and for harming the business, proof from people who would have bought rabbits if she hadn't said anything.
 

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