Another Prank... Oops

[RabbitDad]

Growing up... wait, let me rephrase that... As a kid, I took my self-appointed role as class clown very seriously. I never outgrew it.
So... many moons ago I was working as a deputy sheriff in Nevada.
It was my turn to take a prisoner to Oregon for extradition.
On my way back from this otherwise uneventful trip I stopped for gas at a tiny truck-stop in Kalamath Falls, OR.
While there another deputy drove up. We were both astonished to see each other. He had just dropped another guy off too.
As I was finishing up he told me to wait... he had to use the little boys room, to powder his nose of course & grab a snack from the store. His idea was to drive back together & we could keep each other company over the radio.
So, I go inside, gave the cashier my credit card & said... "My friend is in the restroom, when he comes in for food, give him anything he wants, secretly putting it on my card & say he's the millionth customer or some BS line & it's on the house."
The cashier grinning asked... "What if he doesn't try to buy anything?"
On the counter were packages of two giant cookies each. I tossed a package to the cashier & said... "Give him that for his big prize."
As soon as the setup was complete, my friend came in. Grabbed a truck-stop sandwich, some chips and chocolate milk. He put everything on the counter & tried to pay for it.
The cashier, with a perfect poker face said "Your money isn't any good here, I can't take it."
Before he could finish my friend interrupted and said, "I haven't eaten all day! I really need to buy this!"
The cashier replied... "No, you don't understand... you are our millionth customer! Your entire purchase is on the house! In fact these cookies are yours too!"
My friend is astonished & overjoyed! "Really? Really? Thank you so much!
Then he turns to me & asks... "Did you see what just happened? I've never won anything before in my entirelife! This is great!
I'm about to explode, this is going way better than expected. So, trying to play along, I pretend to be slightly upset & say... "Wow a million customers and I missed it by one person."
So my friend offers me a cookie LOL.
I told him, "No thanks, you won fair & square. You enjoy them."
I couldn't wait to spring it on him on the way home.
We start driving... He doesn't shut up about it the entire way back! I don't think I've ever seen anyone that happy.
He talked about calling his mom, his friends, everybody to share the great news.
OK prank or not, I had to take this one to my grave, never telling him it was only a joke. He'd be suicidal.
We get back & he excitedly tells the watch commander every detail of what happened and that he's keeping all the wrappers & stuff just as proof. Then says I was standing right there as his witness.
Our boss gives me "the look". I instantly know I'm totally busted. So as we are leaving the boss tells me to stick around... We gotta talk."
Then asks... "You did this didn't you? It's got your style all over it!" Then added... "If you EVER let it slip that it was another one of your pranks, you will be the department's meter maid forever! Now get out of my office!"
Is it my fault I'm the only one with a sense of humor?
It didn't stop there. The Sheriff himself called the owner of the truck-stop, told him the entire story & the two collaborated getting a special plaque made with the deputie's name on it and a card signed by every employee at the truck-stop.
A short time later, we were in the muster room (getting our briefing & shift assignments) & the Sgt says... "I have an announcement... Deputy Barney Fife here has won a very special award!" Calls him to the podium to accept it, shakes his hand & congratulates him on his incredible luck.
I about fell out of my chair! I had no idea this was in the works.
The plaque gets passed around the room, with the greeting card, and my friend keeps saying "See? See? I told you guys I won!"
I had to add... "He sure did, I was standing right there & saw the entire thing."
After my shift I ran into my boss. I said... "I thought you didn't approve of my practical jokes." He said... "I don't, this escalated just in case you slip up & say you arranged it. He will never believe it now if you do."
Deep down inside I thought it was really cool that our boss went to that extreme to protect one of his deputies.

 

[Nibbles]

THAT is a great story. I'm glad the winner never knew how it was that he won. And the boss was a good guy to do the follow-up.

 

[RabbitDad]

THAT is a great story. I'm glad the winner never knew how it was that he won. And the boss was a good guy to do the follow-up.

"The boss" was one of the best I've ever known. 99% of the time he kept me in-line. Not due to authority, just the respect all of us had for him.
There was a "rule", according to the procedure manual that said, badges must be worn on the outermost garment. It was a major pain in the rear when coming indoors then transferring your badge from your coat / jacket to your shirt. Just to move it back a few minutes later.
I had a tie tack that was at most 1/2" diameter but an exact copy of my real badge. I even took it to a jeweler to have my number engraved on it.
Reverting back to my class clown status, I put my mini badge on my shirt.
I was sitting at one of those tiny desks in muster, the sheriff is at the podium, stops mid-sentence as he notices my tiny badge... he walks all the way to where I'm sitting, half hunched over with his eyes focused on it.
When he reaches me he says... "What the Hell is that?"
I said... "I forgot that my badge was on my shirt when it went through the washer & dryer..."
I didn't even get to finish my BS story before he told me "don't dare go outside like that!" He raised his voice & said... "And another thing! Do something about that hair! You look like a damn hippie!"
When they wrote the procedure manual, political correctness just started to become a thing so they were trying not to openly discriminate between male & female but it didn't work.
So I replied... "Sir, may I quote the procedure manual on that... "Hair style must be suitable for the person wearing it."
(Meaning anything goes for female, male is close to military style haircuts.)
So I said... "Obviously I'm in compliance with the manual as my hairstyle suits me just fine."
Then I was banished to the farthest corners of the county for the next month.
Yeah... I got my hair cut.

 

[Nibbles]

Gotta watch those badges and pins and other such things when they get tossed in the wash with hot water. Then the drier. Oh My!

Good story.

 

[RabbitDad]

OMG! I don't know how I could have forgotten one of my biggest blunders! This should be in the history books.
Certain letters or combination of them are reserved for certain things so they don't show up that often.
Like XYZ are leased vehicles, PP is press photographer etc..
There was a strict rule that said when we pull a vehicle over we had to call in the plate and location. Then the clock started and if we didn't report back in before the timer ran out, they would come looking for us.
So... I end up on a call for a suspicious vehicle, in an area where it shouldn't be.
I arrive, nobody is around but the car is there.
I call in... 2025 / dispatch, I'll be out on Nevada Charlie Ocean uhh uhh Queer 123." Q was one of those letters rarely seen.
Dispatch replies... "2025, did you mean Nevada Charlie Ocean QUEEN 123?"
Silly me... I reply "Queer / queen same diff."
As soon as that passed my lips I felt the life draining from my entire body.
Immediately following the radio crackles... "2025 as soon as you clear this call 10-21(telephone call) watch commander."
I spent the next hour getting my butt chewed about how popular police scanners and CB radios had become.
They even put out a memo on what NOT to say over the radio.
Once again, banished to the farthest, loneliest part of the county.
Pinky swear, I wasn't trying to be funny, had absolutely no ill intent, it just came out before I made the connection.
Of course with my solid reputation, nobody believed that.

 

[Nibbles]

Oh you. I think you'd have been a fun one to do a "ride along with". I did 3 midnight to 6 am ride along back in early 80's. Denver, Littleton, Arapahoe County. One of the fellows I road with hid behind a bush and I remember a car rolling thru a stop sign. And out we went to stop him. Seems it was a little old man about 87 - 90 age. I was ribbing that officer about having no caring and having purple peanut butter in his veins. The other officers on the radio was ribbing him a lot also.

Another ride-a-long I went to a domestic disturbance call and was shown how to stand to a side of the door when the cop knocked, just to make sure nothing flying out the door unexpectedly would hit any part of the person knocking. I did not go inside, and it was not too bad.

I got into doing the ride- a-longs as I talked my way to the helicopters hanger to see if I could get a ride-a- long with them. I only got within about 10 feet of the helicopter, and no way would I get a ride. ( I watched a bit too much of Blue Thunder and Airwolf).

 

[RabbitDad]

Oh you. I think you'd have been a fun one to do a "ride along with". I did 3 midnight to 6 am ride along back in early 80's. Denver, Littleton, Arapahoe County. One of the fellows I road with hid behind a bush and I remember a car rolling thru a stop sign. And out we went to stop him. Seems it was a little old man about 87 - 90 age. I was ribbing that officer about having no caring and having purple peanut butter in his veins. The other officers on the radio was ribbing him a lot also.

Another ride-a-long I went to a domestic disturbance call and was shown how to stand to a side of the door when the cop knocked, just to make sure nothing flying out the door unexpectedly would hit any part of the person knocking. I did not go inside, and it was not too bad.

I got into doing the ride- a-longs as I talked my way to the helicopters hanger to see if I could get a ride-a- long with them. I only got within about 10 feet of the helicopter, and no way would I get a ride. ( I watched a bit too much of Blue Thunder and Airwolf).

I doubt I'd be your best choice to ride with.
When possible we'd have two deputies per vehicle. Or when a new person was hired, it was mandatory that they'd team up with a senior deputy until they were "signed off" and / or their probation period was over.
I was assigned a new guy who at first seemed perfect for the job. Extremely intelligent and without the "super-cop" attitude. It quickly surfaced that he might not be so ideal after all. This guy had absolutely no fear of anything! It doesn't take much imagination to see how dangerous that is.
He was coming up on a year working there and I still wasn't comfortable turning him loose.
Then we get "the call". Active shooter (pissed off employee) at a warehouse downtown. We were closest so took the call and first to arrive.
I decided to drive around the back, use the rear entrance to come up behind the suspect.
Turned out, he was already outside, in the back. Before we even saw him he shot the spotlight off my car! Then ran inside the back door.
My fearless partner grabs the microphone then screams like a little girl... "lemme see your hands! Lemme see your hands!
OK I realize this isn't the best time to be laughing but it was sooo funny and so unexpected I couldn't stop laughing no matter what. My brave partner, reduced to a female child. Priceless!
In his panic, ne never released the mic button so for miles around everyone could hear what transpired in the car.
I said "Gimme that you pansy" my laughter still very apparent over the PA system.
About then two hands, with two very big handguns emerge from behind the door sending a barrage of bullets into our car!
Still laughing, over the PA, I said... "OK, we saw them, that's enough, thank you."
Then all goes quite, my partner still fumbling around trying to unlock the shotgun.
Less than a minute goes by, the door slowly opens and both guns are tossed out!
The suspect yells "Don't shoot, I'm coming out, don't shoot!"
He steps out then sprawls out on the ground smiling.
WTH? My first thought was maybe there are two or more of them and as soon as we step out we are gonna get it.
So... I move the car up towards the building, leaking coolant & oil the entire way. It looks relatively safe so I send my partner to block the door while I cuff the suspect & stuff him in the car.
While doing that I ask... "How many more? Where are they?"
He insists that it's just him and he's sorry. Then the entire department shows up.
After a quick sweep & talking to witnesses, it's all clear. More amazing, nobody was hurt... except for my partner's now not so solid reputation.
Apparently laughter is highly contagious, even in the worst situations.
Me laughing, caused the suspect to start laughing & all of a sudden he wasn't pissed off anymore.
My brave partner, still freaking out says "I saw him shoot at us!" I tried explaining that the shots you see and hear aren't a problem. The one you don't is the one that gets you." Then asked if I needed to take him home so he could change his panties.
He reverted back to his normal self. Then was relentlessly teased for months after.
Immediately after that incident, realizing that he wasn't fearless after all, I signed off his training as "excellent". Oh I still teased and abused him forever after that but he proved to be a great cop.

 

[RabbitDad]

Apparently my severely warped sense of humor is genetic as my son suffers from the same thing.
I could go on for days telling stories of the corny stuff he's done.
I was reminded of one earlier today.
I had dropped him off at school in an unmarked "cop car". As he opened the door to get out one of his classmates noticed the radio equipment & asked... "Oh wow! Is your dad a cop"?
My son put his finger over his lips and says... "Quiet, don't tell anybody, he's working undercover. He's the guy that comes to your house to see if you tore off any tags from pillows or cushions!"
The look on the kid's face was priceless.
Later I asked what he said when he told him the truth. He asked... "Where's the fun in that? I just let him keep believing it." Then he said the kid moved away soon after.
I can't help but wonder if he ever figured it out.

 

[Nibbles]

Now that is funny. You are the pillow tag cop. But that's a good one.

 

[RabbitDad]

Now that is funny. You are the pillow tag cop. But that's a good one.

Pretty sure that was the morning I shot hot coffee out my nose.