Regarding Grace

[Gone]

The Admins and Moderators here at RT have banned very few members over our almost four years. It is a rare and unpleasant event. This is the first time that we have ever said anything publicly about a banning. If you continue to read this post, we hope you will understand why we chose to handle this one publicly.

We have decided to ban OwnedByTheBuns, whose name is, somewhat ironically, Grace.

Since she joined RT it has been one thing after another, with constant dramas in the shoutbox and elsewhere, and constantly changing stories about what actually happened in each of her all too frequent crises. That is not the reason for banning, but it sure doesn't make us want to turn a blind eye to what follows.

It has come to our attention that this user has posted multiple rants about this site on other sites, including how horrible the admins, mods and community are here. Her accusations are tantamount to calling our members bullies.

Well, enough is enough. Clearly any help that anyone tries to give her here will only be met with venom behind our backs. A few highlights from the posts, with full, unedited screenshots attached below:

Well, this one admin. Oh. My. Goatness. She acts like she is the queen, our Madam who is very high in the pecking order. We should bow down to her at everything she says.

She wants everyone to know that SHE is in charge, and that her little minions are for her to judge around, and WE should also bow down to them, as they are more special than everyone else but her. Every. Little. Thing.

She gets so mad at me! I respond with, "Oh, I'm really sorry, it won't happen again. Thanks for keeping me in line!". I don't mean that, but I say it to continue on with my life and that forum.

Their[sic] like a pack of stuck up, prissy wolves!

Their motto is, "Rabbits for profit… Rabbits for fun… Rabbits for just about everyone…".

I'm understanding that now... Rabbits for just about everyone... just about.... meaning they are trying to drive nice people out and keep the rude ones in! *GASP* Lol

Well that's enough of that. Of course, anyone is free to post whatever opinions they like on the internet. They also need to accept the repercussions of doing so. Clearly this user doesn't appreciate the work we put into providing this site, and we don't need the hassle of dealing with someone who is so high maintenance.

I'm fed up. I usually stay out of moderation issues, and stick to the technical aspects of maintaining this website, but this is over the line. It isn't our policy to single anyone out publicly like this, but this is just so outrageous that I felt it needed to be exposed. Our membership has collectively spent untold hours trying to help her work through her problems, both personal and rabbit related, only to be called rude (as well as ignorant, only in other words) to people who have no idea what she has been doing here. Clearly this time and effort is not appreciated and can better be spent elsewhere. Grace's display of duplicitous, self entitled behavior is not in keeping with our community standards, and will no longer be tolerated here at RabbitTalk.

:smile-ban:

We have decided to allow comments on this thread, but please keep it civil or we'll be forced to lock it. Our intent is to be transparent and open with the RT community so that we can get past this unpleasantness more quickly.

 

[Bad Habit]

I would actually like to take this moment to thank the Mods and Admins of this site. Remarkably, this site manages to be useful and supportive of all the types of rabbit owners, without getting a billion and one people against breeding, meat rabbits, fur, etc.

While I am very sorry to hear that Grace felt this way about the forum and especially the moderating team, I support the decision to ban her based on her libelous and hateful posts. It is too bad that she felt this way, but I wish her nothing but the best going forward.

 

[Miss M]

These are the threads that this is most concerned with, the threads in which so many of our members gave her very thoughtful advice or suggestions:

roses-are-red-violets-are-blue-now-i-m-gonna-vent-on-you-t17190.html

deep-breath-t17236.html

so-have-you-ever-attempted-this-t17359.html

She had deleted all of her posts in one of them. They have been restored. They are linked here for inspection.

 

[OneAcreFarm]

Your admin/mod team is thick skinned, and we can handle people talking about our moderating style, but we DO NOT tolerate anyone trash-talking our members. At all. Period. This forum is more like a family, and we prefer to keep it that way. :campfire:

 

[AmysMacdog]

Thats a shame. I hope someday she will learn from things like this instead of doing what she did. We only talked about french lops, I had no idea. Wow! Thats sad!!
Sorry you had to deal with that MidnightCoder, thank you so much for all that you do and to all the mods and admins who run this site. This is a good reminder to us all that there is alot going on behind the scenes or screen and keyboard. Especially folks like me who really doesn't get how all this works! LOL Thank you guys so much! I know most of us appreciate you!!!

 

[Demamma]

I appreciate this forum and support the decisions of the moderators here. I am very careful or try to be when I post. The caring and support I get here is appreciated. Hope that as Grace grows up she learns to appreciate those who try to help her. I have been surprised at the kindness and support the many members have given to her here.

 

[3mina]

You guys rock, the admins, the mods, and the community at large.
It takes a ton of very hard work on all fronts to make this diverse a forum work, you guys make it look easy.
I just wanted to say thanks for everything you do for and with us.

 

[MaggieJ]

I really appreciate all the support and understanding of our members. Decisions like this are never easy. Thank you all.

 

[Dood]

I'm not a fan of censorship but as far as I can tell everyone has tried to offer support, advice or constructive criticism to the girl and this back stabbing behavior is really uncalled for.

Do what you think you must.

Just to clarify; what does banning entail? Can one view the site but not post? Or a banned member cannt access the page at all?

 

[Nyctra]

And she thinks you guys are rude? :shock: You're anything but! :grouphug2:
I say "you" because I mostly lurk *cough* but I can't recall anyone ever saying anything that offensive. I think I remember the incident in the front-page chat, when a mod? admin? was frustrated with the subject - they did their job and told them to take it elsewhere. I remember thinking that the chat wasn't the kind of thing a someone should be greeted with...
It's never pleasant to find someone trash-talking a site you love and are so thankful for. You guys are doing a great job here. ♥

 

[Gone]

Just to clarify; what does banning entail? Can one view the site but not post? Or a banned member cannt access the page at all?

A banned user can still view the site as it appears to guests. They just lose the ability to log into their account. It's generally easy for us to spot someone trying to circumvent a ban with a new account, too, and that's also against the rules.

 

[Cottie]

Hats off to the mod team for handling this so well.

Hopefully, she learns to cope with constructive criticism and advice. It should come with time. She grossly misrepresented her age on the forum.

 

[Kyle@theWintertime]

One man in particular is rude and sassy.

Since she then quoted me, I can only assume she meant me. :roll: If it wasn't for the fact that I don't take insults from children very seriously, I'd be offended. Instead I'm just sitting here, gawking at the screen, wondering why she figured nobody would ever see this.

Karma. Or Google, whatever. :roll:

Apparently I'm sassy. :mrgreen: Have to remember that! :lol: :lol: :lol: :rotfl:

But whatever happens, I think you should always try to be nice, online at least.

Sadly it seemed quite often that she herself didn't follow this.

My anxiety level was VERY high because of this forum!

Well, maybe being banned is GOOD for her, then. If a forum causes you so much anxiety and stress...maybe don't go there or post there any more? :shock: :?

I for one have BAD anxiety problems, and I must say this forum is as safe a place as there is to be had on the internet these days!!! I love this forum. The admin and mods don't micro-manage, they simply keep jerks and rules-breakers and bullies from harassing us.

I would actually like to take this moment to thank the Mods and Admins of this site. Remarkably, this site manages to be useful and supportive of all the types of rabbit owners, without getting a billion and one people against breeding, meat rabbits, fur, etc.

While I am very sorry to hear that Grace felt this way about the forum and especially the moderating team, I support the decision to ban her based on her libelous and hateful posts. It is too bad that she felt this way, but I wish her nothing but the best going forward.

I do too. I'm sure she'll come 'round someday (just hopefully not HERE) and look back on all this and wonder what the heck she was THINKING. I have moments like that, lol. She has a LOT of growing up to do, though.

These are the threads that this is most concerned with, the threads in which so many of our members gave her very thoughtful advice or suggestions:

roses-are-red-violets-are-blue-now-i-m-gonna-vent-on-you-t17190.html

deep-breath-t17236.html

so-have-you-ever-attempted-this-t17359.html

She had deleted all of her posts in one of them. They have been restored. They are linked here for inspection.

Gave myself a hand cramp on one of those, trying to offer some sound been-there-done-that advice...and I marveled at how many good people on this forum stepped up to try and help her...and got shut down and lashed out at in response.

LOTS of growing up to do. :roll:

Your admin/mod team is thick skinned, and we can handle people talking about our moderating style, but we DO NOT tolerate anyone trash-talking our members. At all. Period. This forum is more like a family, and we prefer to keep it that way. :campfire:

And we all thank you for it!!! :group-hug2: :grouphug2: Like I said, this forum is a safe place.

I appreciate this forum and support the decisions of the moderators here. I am very careful or try to be when I post. The caring and support I get here is appreciated. Hope that as Grace grows up she learns to appreciate those who try to help her. I have been surprised at the kindness and support the many members have given to her here.

Seconded.

I really appreciate all the support and understanding of our members. Decisions like this are never easy. Thank you all.

I imagine that most people who've been banned, it was a clear black-and-white rule-breakage or a line they crossed...with Grace it's more of a gray area, as best I can figure it. She tapdanced the line between compliant and noncompliant.

We really appreciate you and the mods.

I'm not a fan of censorship but as far as I can tell everyone has tried to offer support, advice or constructive criticism to the girl and this back stabbing behavior is really uncalled for.

It's...juvenile and petty. I have little patience for such petty, nasty behavior.

A banned user can still view the site as it appears to guests. They just lose the ability to log into their account. It's generally easy for us to spot someone trying to circumvent a ban with a new account, too, and that's also against the rules.

Ah, much clearer. I was curious, too. Makes sense though...the information on this forum could still be useful to people who've been banned but of course they can't cause trouble any more. This is good.

It's unfortunate that Grace has been so two-faced. It makes her rants about how rude and mean we are (oh and sassy, can't forget that I'm apparently SASSY!!! :lol all the more ironic...as she's the one who's being cruel behind people's backs.

I'm sure this will be a learning experience for her...if not today, someday. Like I said, she's got a LOT of growing up to do.

Hopefully, she learns to cope with constructive criticism and advice. It should come with time. She grossly misrepresented her age on the forum.

Yes...when those of us on FB found out (her mom posts on FB about her sometimes) she begged not to tell others that she's not an adult; she claimed that people don't take children seriously. I would counter that people don't take liars or backstabbers seriously. :roll:

 

[Cottie]

Hopefully, she learns to cope with constructive criticism and advice. It should come with time. She grossly misrepresented her age on the forum.

Yes...when those of us on FB found out (her mom posts on FB about her sometimes) she begged not to tell others that she's not an adult; she claimed that people don't take children seriously. I would counter that people don't take liars or backstabbers seriously. :roll:

One thing to mention, if that age is in fact correct...I'll offer up my opinion that it's possibly not a good idea to be discussing things so openly with so much PII of her's floating about. *cough*children'sonlineprotectionact*cough*

 

[trinityoaks]

Y'all are doing a GREAT job here! I know from experience how difficult being a mod can be, and how one problem user can change the whole tone of a forum (I don't think Grace had THAT much effect--yet).

I feel bad for Grace, but a lot of her teenage drama is of her own making. (I know a couple of teens IRL going through similar drama, as well.) The drama is understandable--she's 16yo. The backstabbing on another forum is quite another, though, and completely uncalled-for. I think y'all were right to ban her.

 

[Kyle@theWintertime]

Y'all are doing a GREAT job here! I know from experience how difficult being a mod can be, and how one problem user can change the whole tone of a forum (I don't think Grace had THAT much effect--yet).

I feel bad for Grace, but a lot of her teenage drama is of her own making. (I know a couple of teens IRL going through similar drama, as well.) The drama is understandable--she's 16yo. The backstabbing on another forum is quite another, though, and completely uncalled-for. I think y'all were right to ban her.

She's actually a fair bit younger than that.

I agree though...backstabbing behavior is quite another matter.

 

[trinityoaks]

Makes sense, Kyle! After the first time I replied to her on her "vent" thread (and got nowhere), I quit reading most of her threads--too much drama for me. She clearly wanted attention rather than solutions.

 

[Zab]

I get a feeling one of those screenshots are about me. *sigh* And I liked her.

I feel betrayed... and I think that's about the worst thing I know of. I rather take an honest disagreement than someone going behind my back.

Well well. I see why this one was made public.

I'm also starting to regret my own, past venting threads. I have sensed a change in the forum lately, more drama, venting and uhappy stuff both in threads and in the chat box, and I think Grace and I both helped making it that way. Let's try to change that again and not over-use the nice peoples compassion here
I can at least assure that despite similiar drama-threads, I'm not badmouthing RT.. quite the opposite. It's one of the few forum I know of with a nice mood in it - and the others I don't visit much. Or at all.

 

[grumpy]

Were ANY of her circumstances "real"?
Or just figments of her imagination?

DRAMA, DRAMA, DRAMA.....some people thrive on it.
They are addicted to dissention like a junkie to crack.
Her ramblings were never-ending with one dilemma following another.

I hesitate, or rather refuse, to be drawn deeply into these threads of discourse.
It's an attempt to dilute the cumulative goodwill
of the many to satisfy the perverted needs of the one.

If no changes internally occur within this young person they are headed
for a lifetime of unhappiness and mental anguish.

Spoiled-Brat....seems appropriate.

grumpy.

 

[Marinea]

I am feeling two separate thoughts about this situation. First, I am feeling sorry for and protective of those here who she badmouthed. None of it was deserved. None of it was an accurate reflection of those she wrote about. Some children her age cannot handle adult criticism, no mater how gently phrased, or how constructive. They lash out. I believe that's what we're seeing in her off site posts.

I am also feeling sorry for Grace. Yes, you read that right. She has some issues. Unfortunately, with today's social media, she will undoubtedly "meet" others with the same issues, and she will be validated, and thereby continue her troubling behaviors. I fear she faces a rude awakening one day. Yes, she is bringing it on herself, but I still feel the fall will be hard, and the lesson learned later than sooner.