Advice on a hard topic

[starshotbandit]

On tuesday night my/my little girls pony died. I pick her up from her fathers on sunday,she doesent know. I dont know what to say to a 6 year old. I have had the pony for 11 years,I broke her to drive so she would be useful long afte the kids were to big for her. I used her at day camps at the fanch were i worked.I used her for lessons and she helped some kids get over there fear of horses cause she was small(10hands). Yes she could be a brat, pest and a royal paine in the butt. she was my kid's best friend. She was only 13 years old. :cry_baby:
My husband asked me if I wanted to build a cross for her and tell hope that Pepper is in the back yard.We had to take her to the dump, there was no way I could dig a hole that big and we could not aford to rent a backhoe. I dont want to lie, but I dont want that in her mind eather. Afriend told me we should do the cross and put somthing of pepper's their so she has someplace to morne and have closure.I think thats a good idea.but then again she is still upset about my bird passing last year,she takes things to put on her grave. I dont know what to do. -/-(

 

[Peach]

So sorry to hear *hugs* What a big heart she has to still bring flowers to your bird. I feel like I don't have much to contribute because I don't have kids of my own, but I would be honest about her passing. We must all face the reality of even our most beloved pets. I still tear up ,as twenty year old young woman, about our pug that was no more than 9 years old when he fell ill and needed to be put down. That was almost almost 5 years ago. I still miss him very much, but I know where he is buried and I visit him when I'm working around my garden and my rabbits. There is a small tree growing there. I would build something in her memory. I don't think she needs to know how her pony was disposed, but if it was colic,etc. I'd just tell her and be honest

 

[Miss M]

I agree, you can build a cross and tell her that you put this up as a memorial to the pony. Hopefully, this will be satisfactory, and she won't even ask if the pony is buried there. If she does ask that directly, I don't know how to answer... hopefully, you can gently change the subject.

Our son (11) was still putting flowers on his bunny's grave almost every day when we moved, about 10 months after she died.

Perhaps (if you can afford it), she can help pick out a new little pony. Not as a replacement, but because it's okay to have a new friend.

 

[Frosted Rabbits]

I agree-- a memorial is in order--
And the pony is buried-- you just don't need to tell her where--

I have the collars of my three previous Service Dogs attached to a picture of the dog-- Something like that for her room can be of some help, as well..

 

[starshotbandit]

Thank you all for the advice.I have been fighting sand colic with Pepperfor the past few months. The first time it was bad I ended up having to tube her. She was on a dobbel dose of psyillem for 2 weeks. I tried keeping food in her feeder at all times she had amineral block and still she would lick the ground.

__________ Sat Jan 05, 2013 8:46 am __________

<br /><br />__________ Sat Jan 05, 2013 8:55 am __________<br /><br />I have kept things from my other pets. collars, tags,hair and from my last dog i did a paw print. I did cut some mane and tail, so maby I can make her somthing. I think I will have my friend customize a bryer of pepper, Ijust have to find the right shape. thank you this has helped me as well. Im suposed to be the strong one, so I dont show it,

 

[Teddy2511]

I am so sorry about the loss of your pony!
We had to put down one of our horses this summer, and I will never forget how difficult that was. Feeling with you in this hard time!

I think a memorial would be a wonderful idea, and making something out of her pony's hair would be a wonderful keepsake for your daughter and a lasting memory of her special friend.

 

[Dood]

I think a memorial is a good idea. We usually plant a tree for our lost pets whether or not they are buried on the property. The kids have been told that once an animal is dead their bodies are just shells that their pet no longer lives in, and the bodies become food for other things like trees or worms or people in the case of our livestock.

 

[Marinea]

I would maybe let your daughter pick a spot she thinks would be good for Pepper. Maybe a spot they liked to be together. Some place she can go to and think about the time they got to spend together. Maybe, just maybe, involving her more in the memorial will help with her grief.

(hugs) It still amazes me how quickly our pets can wind their paw/hoof/foot prints on our hearts.

 

[starshotbandit]

We I thought I would give an update. I think I took it harder then her. She cried for a min. then was fine. So I guess thats a good thing?? I dont think I will be getting her another pony/horse. she can ride one of mine.

 

[Demamma]

I am glad your daughter is handling it well. I used to raise and show society finches. no where near like a horse. One vacation the person hired to care for my finches did not water them. I lost my whole avairy. It was four years of breeding down the tubes. I had just got the perfect crest on one line and perfect dilute on another line. I was so excited about breeding that pair to get a excellent crested dilute society finch. I was not able to make a memorial for a month as it hit me so hard.
when I did my mom came and we bought fence,flowers and a statue.
when I planted and made the memorial I found it very freeing. I cried the whole time. I have moved since but took my statue with me to remember my little birds. Can you have a bracelet made from the hair?

 

[Mickey328]

I think you're very wise not to lie to your daughter; kids are a long smarter than we sometimes give them credit for. I'd suggest being honest with her, and gentle too of course. I wouldn't put too much emphasis on the pony's body, but concentrate on her spirit. I do believe that heaven isn't just for people and that animals have their place there as well. If this is something you would feel comfortable with, you could explain to her that her beloved friend has gone on to heaven and will be happy and healthy there while she waits for her (your daughter). You might consider planting a tree in her honor as a memorial. Your daughter could be very involved with this...from deciding what kind of tree and where to place it as well as the actual planting and watering. It would be a living memorial for her for years and years to come.

 

[starshotbandit]

When we told her about Pepper passing, she stated and questiond that Pepper was an angle now and was with God. We told her yes, and that she would be their waiting. she was safe and nuthing could hirt her and she wouldent get sick anymore. She got to put the cross up for Pepper and Tip(the cocatieal). Thank you all for your thoughts and help.

 

[Miss M]

So glad to hear she seems to be handling it alright.

 

[Kyle@theWintertime]

Sorry to hear about your loss, though I'm glad your daughter is taking it well. The memorial is a good idea.