A day of opposites.

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grumpy

grumpy

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 25, 2012
Messages
2,004
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Location
plattsburg, missouri
Today was my youngest son, Reggie's graduation. 21 years ago, these three little fellas came into our lives. It was a bittersweet day. Full of memories, tears, laughter, and reflection. Being a member of the School Board (Vice-President) I was on stage and able to hand Reggie his diploma. I waited for his name to be called as the superintendent handed me his diploma. (I made sure it was in my left hand for a right-hand shake)

It didn't really make any difference....under the spotlight, in front of nearly 1000 people, my son advanced towards me with tears streaming down his face and gave me the world's biggest HUG!! The audience sighed. We managed to shake hands and he turned to go.

I said, "Wait a minute", pointing to my cheek with my finger. He smiled and with no hesitation gave me a "smacker" right on the cheek. "Love you, Pop." He whispered into my ear as his lips touched my cheek. My heart felt like it would surely burst. I am so proud of my sons. This was Reggie's SPECIAL DAY!

Yet, under it all, my heart bore a heavy burden.

I'm the oldest of four boys.

We need to "back-up" in time about an hour and a half. I was in the bathroom, tying my tie, getting ready for graduation, when my cell phone rang. It was my younger brother Kenny. He called to tell me the youngest boy "Kerry" of us four brothers had been found dead early this morning. My chest felt like it had been hit with a hammer.

I was alone when I received the bad news. I've yet to tell my family. This is a day of special importance for Reggie. I cannot/will not cast a pall of sorrow over this day. I will carry this burden until tomorrow morning before I break the news to them. I may be wrong.....but I feel I'm not.

I nearly lost Kenny earlier this year. I would have given 5 to 1 odds he wouldn't survive, he was that ill. But, he did! It's been an emotional roller coaster for me. I only hope I'm doing the right thing for my boy.

None of my family read this site. If they did, I'd have no place to share my sorrow. Thank you for listening.

As I'm writing this, I can hear my son's laughter in the background as he opens his graduation gifts from family and friends.

Sounds like he's makin' out pretty good!!

Grumpy.
 
I'm so sorry to hear about your brother, Grumpy, it won't hurt to keep it a secret until tomorrow.

And congratulations to your son. Well done Reggie.
 
My heart goes out to you Grumpy. I can't imagine the mixed emotions you have tonight. Your family will be in my prayers as you share the news tomorrow. Congrats to your son, and to you too. I know you've given and sacrificed to get him to this point in his life! I don't know you personally, but I believe Reggie and his brothers are very blessed to have you as their father. God bless you.
 
I am so sorry for your loss, I can not even imagine how difficult and bittersweet this day was for you. God bless and I will be praying for your family in this difficult time.
 
I am so sorry for your loss, Grumpy, and I think it's amazing of you to keep Reggie's day his. What would I have done? I have no idea.
 
Sorry Grumpy, there are no words to express the loss of a brother, sister, son or parent but for what it's worth, sorry.

And as for your son - :congratulations: Make sure he gives you half the money he gets for past expenses :p
 
Congratulations to your son, and to you for getting the last one graduated! I am very sorry for your family's loss. I think it was very noble of you to let Reggie have his day untarnished.
 
I'm so sorry.. -hugs- I think it is ok for you to wait. I would probably try to do he same thing. However who knows if i would succeed. Very thoughtful of you though. Congratulations though with Reggie! Graduation is a big step! Now he can go out into the big wide world and search for his new career and such :D
 
Grumpy, I am in awe of your strength. I really am.

It seems like you keep getting hit, yet you still stand, and are strong enough to keep a smile on your face for others. Your grace and composure are admirable.

(hugs)

*prayers for peace, healing and good things for you and your family*
 
Grumpy, you are a man that I truly admire. Your strength, your courage, and your love for your family are truly a class act. I am so sorry for your loss, I can only imagine how heavy your heart must be at this time, and yet you chose to be so selfless. Congrats to your son.......I know you are very proud, as you should be. My heart sends you big HUGS!!!
 
Grumpy, I don't know you but from what I've read about you, you are a man of strength and great character.

Hugs on a fantastic day for your son, and bigger hugs on your sad news.

And THANK YOU for allowing your son his day. Tomorrow will come soon enough.
 
Thanks for all of your concerns and best wishes. I "pirated" two pics from the school website. You'll have to open the two icons to view them. You can see the superintendent between Reggie and I on one. The other is another member of the school board. The smiles on their faces tell the story of everyone's collective joy over my sons' graduation. I was dealing with a lot turbulent emotions when these were taken. Some were good---some were not so good.

I'm still gathering information on Kerry's death. The coroner believes it was a heart attack or stroke. Either way, really doesn't make a difference, he's gone.

Losing my son, Shane, last year on the 25th of June. Then nearly losing my brother Kenny around Christmas, and now Kerry passing has knocked the props from under me. Yet, I know only one way. I keep placing one foot in front of the other, doing my best to get through the day.

My significant other was extremely pee-yode over my decision.
Truthfully, I didn't and don't care.
My brother...my son...my loss...my pain...Reggie's joy...my choice.

Trust me, the dynamics in my life, allow me to say the above with heartfelt conviction.
I apologize for my cynicism but the circumstances surrounding me, justify what I've said.

grumpy.

http://ccr3.smugmug.com/HighSchool/Grad ... &lb=1&s=XL

http://ccr3.smugmug.com/HighSchool/Grad ... &lb=1&s=XL
 
Ah Grumpy, my heart goes out to you. It was such a selfless decision you made. Reggie is so fortunate to have such a caring Dad.

I adopted two sons back in the late 90s and in July, 2000, their Dad (my hubby) was killed in a plane crash. I wish I had waited till the next morning to tell them about the accident that took the lives of both their Dad and Uncle. I couldn't handle it at the time and just told them there had been an accident and we did not know yet. Our son, Cody, said he was going to bed to pray all night that his Dad was okay. I still feel guilty that I maybe harmed the faith of a small child because I knew already. I had to tell them something though, as it was obvious something was very wrong. If I could have held it together till I was stronger for them I could have done a better job getting us all through those first few weeks.

It's so hard to deal with grief and know how and when to share that grief with others whom it will affect. I believe you did the right thing to give Reggie his day, unmarred by the grief you were experiencing. Sending hugs your way today and best wishes to your newly graduated son, as well as my sympathies to you all on the loss of your brother. Thanks for sharing the pictures of you and Reggie! They made me smile.
 
Congrats on your son's graduation ♥ I am so very sorry for your loss but you truly are an amazing Dad.. I could feel that through your words. Many prayers of comfort and good vibes are being sent to you.
 
Oh Grumpy. I can't even imagine. I am SO, so sorry for your loss...words fail me.

I agree, give Reggie today to be happy. It is his day. I wish you didn't have to carry this with you today though!!! :(

Congratulations on raising wonderful children, though. Every child who grows up to be a good adult (and to me, graduating is a big step towards that) is a possibility to change the world for the better. I hope all the best for Reggie!!!!
 
Grumpy,

I am so sorry to hear that you have suffered yet another loss in so short a time span. :cry:

The look of joy on your son's face is priceless.

Looking at that photo, how can you question for even a moment that you did the right thing?

((Hugs))
 

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