One negative about writing.

[grumpy]

Given the gift of the ability to write brings with it a situation that
oftentimes will place a writer under extreme duress. With that 'gift'
comes another obligation. This is not the first time for me and I
seriously doubt it will be the last.

Writing, for yours truly, is 'fun'. It's an escape from the realities of
this oftentimes harried world we live in. An appreciated mechanism
to relieve stress but, there are times when I've had requests from
very dear friends that elevate my personal stress levels almost
beyond endurance. Such was the case yesterday morning. I become
almost physically ill when these situations arise. Yet....I cannot
refuse them.

"Would you write my Mother's eulogy, Grumpy?"

It's a 'high-honor' to be asked but, it is coupled with far higher
expectations. This isn't "fiction", folks. It's a strong reminder of
reality and I shudder over that responsibility. I cannot turn my
back on this heart-broken request. However, this always takes
a heavy toll on my psyche.

Your thoughts?

Thanks.

 

[HansenHomestead]

I understand your dilemma. I find that writing about something fictional is far easier than something solely reality. I used to be outstanding at writing. Then for quite a few years writing took a backseat in life. Now that I am trying to build a website, and business. I find that writing has become very difficult for me. My freedom of mind, and imagination for words just seems to be lost in the fog of daily life. That, and also what I am writing about is reality based, and it's amusing to me that what I am writing about is exactly what I do on a daily bases. The rabbits, chickens, and quail. Our business goals for the future. Seemly easy enough to write about, yet I have struggled for months.

I suggest gather some information on the woman you are writing about, make something that is heartfelt, a tad bit funny, and not too long. I'd say make a rough copy, and ask someone to run through it, and get their suggestions as well?

Sorry I am not the best at giving Eulogy advice.

 

[Marinea]

Considering the losses you have faced, I can certainly see how it would be tough. "Knowing" you, I can also understand why you don't decline.

If your friend is asking for you to write a eulogy that they will give, maybe sit down with them and a recorder, and ask them to talk about their mom? Being able to include some of their own words and thoughts might make it easier, for you and them.

You have written here about people in your life, and, for me at least, you brought them to vivid life with your words. I have no doubt that you will honor your friend's mother the same way.

*hugs*

 

[MaggieJ]

Grumpy, first of all . . . (((HUGS)))

I can only imagine the stress writing a eulogy must place on you. It is a great honour to be asked, but it's a heavy burden too. I think your own high expectations of yourself probably make it harder on you too.

Becca and Marinea both made useful suggestions about the kinds of things to include to get the job done. People's lives are made up of such a variety of experiences and feelings. A few stories about your friend's mother will go a long way to honouring the her life. And yes, let at least one of them bring a smile and a tear with it.

 

[grumpy]

Thanks everyone, it's good to share with close friends. It helps.

My friend's name is "Bill"....heckuva nice guy. We've known one
another for 15+ years. Our boys played football together. He was
"near-the-edge" when he came over yesterday morning. I didn't
know his circumstances until we went down to the shop. He lost
it... and I was shocked to find out why. I'd met his Mama several
times over the years at the ball games.

That's when he asked me to write his mama's eulogy. We visited
for the better part of an hour and a half. I'd jot down notes and key
words. He said he could probably write it, but "Grumpy, you're way
better with words, than I am. Would you do it, please?"

I got a lump in my throat. "I'll do my best, Bill, but I want you to
jot down your thoughts this afternoon and bring them to me." Then,
I realized. "I'll be tied up with the school board most of the evening.
If you can, just leave your notes on the seat of my van." They were
waiting on me after the meeting.

It's very easy for me to understand the anguish and pain he's going
through. And with the notes he jotted down, plus my own, I'm sure
I'll be able to help him through this heartbroken time he and his
family are having. I ran into his son, a corporal in the Marine's, last
night at the convenience store and offered my condolences.

Apparently Bill had told him what I was going to do. I got a
big old HUG right in the candy aisle. My neck still hurts a little.
but it's a good kinda hurt.

Grumpy.

 

[MaggieJ]

I've been thinking about you a lot today, Grumpy, and hoping the eulogy is coming along well. It sounds like you have enough input to be able to pull it together for Bill and his family. I know it will take its toll on you, but the satisfaction of helping them in this way will outlive the stress.

 

[Miss M]

Wow, what an honor, Grumpy... I know it's a very difficult task, but I know you will put together a beautiful eulogy that will celebrate Bill's mother's life, and help soothe the pain and loss the family is suffering.

We've been to some six or so family funerals in the past year. The eulogies that helped me the most were the ones that told briefly of the person's life, expanded on the love the family had for the person and why the person was so loved, shared a few heartwarming and funny stories from the person's life, and expressed gratitude for the impact that person had on the speaker's and family's lives.

God bless you, Grumpy. :grouphug:

 

[alforddm]

I am so thankful for you grumpy and all the things you do for others. God bless you!