Post regret after first time dispatching/butchering (graphic images)

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lunaticfowlboy

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Yesterday, April 30th, I killed and butchered a rabbit for the first time. When I received her from the breeder, she instantly clung to me and just wanted to be held alot. I cuddled her for like an hour before dispatching her in the shed. I named her Sophia. She was a beautiful grey-and-blue New Zealand rabbit.

I have never killed an animal on purpose in my life (beside worms for my chickens) so it was a bit hard to bid her farewell. I used the broomstick method, it was a quick snap of the neck and she was gone. I killed her. Me. A minorly mentally disturbed teenager. I shouldve known better.

I have been struggling with my ethical standpoints of animals as food, I’ve been vegan for about a year now but have considered going “wegan” which is vegan with the exception of wild game or uncommon animals. I am not ok with farming of any type whatsoever. Organic, free range, humane, grass fed, factory farm, I don’t care, I hate it and the system that represents it. I don’t eat beef anymore, chicken, turkey, pork, the usual meats you find in the supermarket. I had a pet heifer I recently rehomed and was losing my mind because of how worried I was over who I was giving her to.

I’ve never held a rabbit in my life and the moment I did I had a huge feeling of guilt and sadness. It wasn’t fun to dispatch or gut her, it was more rather interesting but in a sad and numbing way. I ended up eating both her loins that night and they were surprisingly good. Its like a cross between the look and flavor of chicken and the chewiness and texture of a steak. I pan cooked them with some seasoning and it turned out tasty. I still feel bad.

Hopefully this is the first and last time I do this, or at least until I start hunting. Im still thinking about her last minutes of comfort and apologies from me. The only positive feeling I have is from knowing exactly how she died, and that I did it as quick as possible, with a great feeling of remorse.
 

Olbunny

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You harvested a meat animal. That had a good life and you treated it with dignity n respect. You are a human being with feelings. Emotional and hunger.
I certainly respect your decision to eat any foods you want. But also know that the food animals we raise are also treated with respect. And comfort.
As a rule I believe that most farmers raising bigger livestock all have the same feelings for their animals. And treat them as good as they can.
Post regret, I can't help you much with that other than to say that you seem to have given that rabbit all the care n respect you could. And it ended up with a calm mind.
Your ok, and just human. And I have respect for the fact that you took the time and effort to give to this rabbit a good life
 

dlynn

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Yesterday, April 30th, I killed and butchered a rabbit for the first time. When I received her from the breeder, she instantly clung to me and just wanted to be held alot. I cuddled her for like an hour before dispatching her in the shed. I named her Sophia. She was a beautiful grey-and-blue New Zealand rabbit.

I have never killed an animal on purpose in my life (beside worms for my chickens) so it was a bit hard to bid her farewell. I used the broomstick method, it was a quick snap of the neck and she was gone. I killed her. Me. A minorly mentally disturbed teenager. I shouldve known better.

I have been struggling with my ethical standpoints of animals as food, I’ve been vegan for about a year now but have considered going “wegan” which is vegan with the exception of wild game or uncommon animals. I am not ok with farming of any type whatsoever. Organic, free range, humane, grass fed, factory farm, I don’t care, I hate it and the system that represents it. I don’t eat beef anymore, chicken, turkey, pork, the usual meats you find in the supermarket. I had a pet heifer I recently rehomed and was losing my mind because of how worried I was over who I was giving her to.

I’ve never held a rabbit in my life and the moment I did I had a huge feeling of guilt and sadness. It wasn’t fun to dispatch or gut her, it was more rather interesting but in a sad and numbing way. I ended up eating both her loins that night and they were surprisingly good. Its like a cross between the look and flavor of chicken and the chewiness and texture of a steak. I pan cooked them with some seasoning and it turned out tasty. I still feel bad.

Hopefully this is the first and last time I do this, or at least until I start hunting. Im still thinking about her last minutes of comfort and apologies from me. The only positive feeling I have is from knowing exactly how she died, and that I did it as quick as possible, with a great feeling of remorse.
I am glad you enjoyed your rabbit. Both in the care you gave and on the dinner plate.please remember the animals you raise will have a better life than those coming from massive factory farms, or even a wild animal always under stress of food shortage or predation. And better nutrition for you. Also remember life, death, and eating are all part of a necessary cycle. Science has shown even plants care for young, react to stress...some trees will use their roots to transport water and nutrients to seedlings. Plants will send out chemical signals to attract preditor insects to come to their aid, when they are under attack... I would be more concerned by someone who enjoys the butchering. We all need to remember we are part of an important circle of life. Rabbits breed prolifically because they are prey animals, eaten by many. I hope you will continue to enjoy your rabbits in all thier "rabbitness". Honoring your place in this circle. And all the living things that give us life. Best wishes to you!
 

RexKing

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Hi. Wow. Thanks for sharing your story. It’s good to have it reflected how hard it is to kill them. I was giving up. I’ve harvested a few. I eat venison. That’s all. I was adding rabbit. It’s really hard. I feel you.
 

Big Mac

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I understand, you are exhibiting a special quality in the attribute of compassion to care about the feelings of another specie.
There is nothing wrong in having those feelings. It is referred to as “tinder hearted” , perhaps it would be better not to raise rabbits for harvest, but for the pleasure of their company and for the wonderful work they do for the soil.
For the experience let it be a lesson and do not dwell on it.
do not think less of yourself, for the attribute of compassion is a God attribuite.
peace and blessings
 

george8211

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Yesterday, April 30th, I killed and butchered a rabbit for the first time. When I received her from the breeder, she instantly clung to me and just wanted to be held alot. I cuddled her for like an hour before dispatching her in the shed. I named her Sophia. She was a beautiful grey-and-blue New Zealand rabbit.
I used to hunt as a kid and stopped as a young adult because I didn't feel right about killing. I can give a few thoughts of mine to you (as someone that is just getting rabbits to breed for sale and meat). 1) understand up front that your rabbit has a purpose to feed your family. 2) Don't name them (if you want to have 1 as a pet to never kill so be it). 3) Personally I like to thank the animal for providing for my family knowing that it had a good, healthy, stress free life, and it is serving it's life higher purpose like all animals in nature... the food chain to create future lives of future generations of other creatures. I can also assure you that it gets easier. Also, you could consider having someone else do the deed and cleaning for sharing the meat. Give them 2 and get 1 prepped ready to cook rabbit back.
 

hotzcatz

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Life eats life, it can't survive on non-living things. Doesn't matter if it's animal or vegetable, it's gotta be living or have been living in order to provide sustenance for other living things. It's good you named her, so now you can thank her by name for providing you with sustenance.

If you step back and look at the overall scope of how life works, you'll notice that many animals only need a few males for quite a few females. Chickens are a prime example of that, one rooster can have a whole flock of hens. Yet, when hatched, their gender is about 50/50. So, about 90% of those roosters aren't necessary for the continuation of the chicken species. If nobody or nothing eats them, they'll just fight and kill each other.

If it had been me, I'd have likely had regrets that Sophia wasn't Stephen. A doe is very valuable in a meat herd, a buck not so much.

Lately, I've been thinking about how we are all (you, me, the rabbits, every one) aggregate creatures. How many living things does it take to make up an animal or plant? There's all kinds of small living things that are necessary to be together into one larger creature. Amoeba are living things? Yet, aren't there many in a human? There's some sort of gut biota, which is a living thing on a very small scale. Microbes, they're living things. Yet all these things are part of one much bigger thing. When one creature eats another, how many of these smaller creatures migrate from one place to another? Which also means all those folks out there looking to meet an alien from outer space are closer than they think.

Did you save Sophia's pelt to make something soft?
 

george8211

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Life eats life, it can't survive on non-living things. Doesn't matter if it's animal or vegetable, it's gotta be living or have been living in order to provide sustenance for other living things. It's good you named her, so now you can thank her by name for providing you with sustenance.

If you step back and look at the overall scope of how life works, you'll notice that many animals only need a few males for quite a few females. Chickens are a prime example of that, one rooster can have a whole flock of hens. Yet, when hatched, their gender is about 50/50. So, about 90% of those roosters aren't necessary for the continuation of the chicken species. If nobody or nothing eats them, they'll just fight and kill each other.

What you say is sooooo true. We have chickens and the roosters will fight each other and cause injury or even death in rare cases. Killing off excess roosters is mercy killing, they will fight constantly for the right to earn the right to mate with the hens.
 
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Yesterday, April 30th, I killed and butchered a rabbit for the first time. When I received her from the breeder, she instantly clung to me and just wanted to be held alot. I cuddled her for like an hour before dispatching her in the shed. I named her Sophia. She was a beautiful grey-and-blue New Zealand rabbit.

I have never killed an animal on purpose in my life (beside worms for my chickens) so it was a bit hard to bid her farewell. I used the broomstick method, it was a quick snap of the neck and she was gone. I killed her. Me. A minorly mentally disturbed teenager. I shouldve known better.

I have been struggling with my ethical standpoints of animals as food, I’ve been vegan for about a year now but have considered going “wegan” which is vegan with the exception of wild game or uncommon animals. I am not ok with farming of any type whatsoever. Organic, free range, humane, grass fed, factory farm, I don’t care, I hate it and the system that represents it. I don’t eat beef anymore, chicken, turkey, pork, the usual meats you find in the supermarket. I had a pet heifer I recently rehomed and was losing my mind because of how worried I was over who I was giving her to.

I’ve never held a rabbit in my life and the moment I did I had a huge feeling of guilt and sadness. It wasn’t fun to dispatch or gut her, it was more rather interesting but in a sad and numbing way. I ended up eating both her loins that night and they were surprisingly good. Its like a cross between the look and flavor of chicken and the chewiness and texture of a steak. I pan cooked them with some seasoning and it turned out tasty. I still feel bad.

Hopefully this is the first and last time I do this, or at least until I start hunting. Im still thinking about her last minutes of comfort and apologies from me. The only positive feeling I have is from knowing exactly how she died, and that I did it as quick as possible, with a great feeling of remorse.
I look at it like this Aquarium fish are great to look at but it does not keep me from fishing.
 

Cindy in SD

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Someone pointed out here that "life eats life". This is so true, and plants (insofar as we can tell) don't particularly "want" to be eaten, either. I look at it like this: the chicken, rabbit, cow... was always going to die. Just like me. If they lived with me, they had a good life and a quick-as-possible death. A good deal quicker than a human who tries everything to go on living if he is being harmed by some illness. Maybe he will find a cure for that particular thing, but ultimately we all die.

It isn't the length of life but the quality, and for a human, the way we lived. I started raising chickens *because* I would be raising them and killing them myself. I very much dislike the idea of animals being raised in a chicken (etc) factory setting and killed by over-tired, uncaring and underpaid workers. Those birds generally had as safe a life as the "farmer" could give them, but did they have an enjoyable, good life? 🤷‍♀️

Not in my opinion. So I will go on raising and eating my own meat because as a human, it is my nature to eat meat along with the other fruits & veggies that make up our diets. I want it raised and butchered in as kind a manner as possible. The only way to be sure of this is to do it myself.

It is the meat-eaters and the meat animals that make the necessary environment for all life; predator, prey & vegetation, possible. It seems savage I know, but if it weren't for all of us living and dying together, life would not be at all. It's just the way the world works.
 
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Yesterday, April 30th, I killed and butchered a rabbit for the first time. When I received her from the breeder, she instantly clung to me and just wanted to be held alot. I cuddled her for like an hour before dispatching her in the shed. I named her Sophia. She was a beautiful grey-and-blue New Zealand rabbit.

I have never killed an animal on purpose in my life (beside worms for my chickens) so it was a bit hard to bid her farewell. I used the broomstick method, it was a quick snap of the neck and she was gone. I killed her. Me. A minorly mentally disturbed teenager. I shouldve known better.

I have been struggling with my ethical standpoints of animals as food, I’ve been vegan for about a year now but have considered going “wegan” which is vegan with the exception of wild game or uncommon animals. I am not ok with farming of any type whatsoever. Organic, free range, humane, grass fed, factory farm, I don’t care, I hate it and the system that represents it. I don’t eat beef anymore, chicken, turkey, pork, the usual meats you find in the supermarket. I had a pet heifer I recently rehomed and was losing my mind because of how worried I was over who I was giving her to.

I’ve never held a rabbit in my life and the moment I did I had a huge feeling of guilt and sadness. It wasn’t fun to dispatch or gut her, it was more rather interesting but in a sad and numbing way. I ended up eating both her loins that night and they were surprisingly good. Its like a cross between the look and flavor of chicken and the chewiness and texture of a steak. I pan cooked them with some seasoning and it turned out tasty. I still feel bad.

Hopefully this is the first and last time I do this, or at least until I start hunting. Im still thinking about her last minutes of comfort and apologies from me. The only positive feeling I have is from knowing exactly how she died, and that I did it as quick as possible, with a great feeling of remorse.
I think we are a lot alike, I am also a teenager who killed her first rabbit around 6 months ago. I used to be vegetarian so it was really hard for me to got through with it.

I think it was an important lesson though, I remember when I told me friends that I killed and ate my rabbit, they said things like “how could kill and eat a bunny that’s so mean!”, which was an odd comment coming from people that I knew for a fact ate meat daily. I was so confused as to how they could eat meat, and then judge me for sustainably harvesting my own meat. I think they just would rather live in ignorance of how their food got to their table, because “it’s too sad”. But it really bugs me when people have that mindset, because they are completely overlooking the sacrifice that it takes to produce meat.

Unlike my friends, you understand that sacrifice because you had to kill the animal yourself, and now you can better respect the life that was used for that meal.

Since then I am a lot more comfortable with the idea of animals dying to produce my food, mostly because in my religion it is taught that animals are here on this earth for the use of mankind. But I still respect have maintained that respect that I learned when I first processed my first rabbit, and I do my best to give my meat rabbits the best life I can before harvest.

anyways I hope you are able to recover from your guilt, and I just wanted to say I really respect you for caring about how your meat gets to your plate! 😊
 

Zee-Man

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There is no disconnect between caring for an animal and harvesting it. It is a natural thing to have feelings for an animal that you intend to eat. You are providing quality food, shelter, a comfortable place to sleep, safety from predators, and more. That sounds a lot like a loving relationship. The dispatch need not be done with brutality. Yes it is a harsh action, but you need not lose respect for the animal in that action.

Guilt over doing so is a feeling that has been foisted upon us by folks who live outside the natural course. On a survival camping trip we had a chicken there to be slaughtered. One guy said, "I'm not eating that, it doesn't look like food!" Now that is a huge disconnect. Of course it looks like food! He later acceded that it was food once we had plucked and parted it. That he could not see the living animal as food was a tremendous lack of respect.

By slaughtering your rabbit you actually connected with it on a deeper level than your peers. I lay it to you, that vegans who do not garden have no respect for their food either. You, on the other hand, know the value of that life. You cared for it. You made its life good. You followed it from kit to table. You are a human.
 
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