Poking The Bear

[RabbitDad]

My wife's iq is amazingly high but her "street smarts" are severely lacking. She falls for the dumbest pranks.
For example... one Thanksgiving I stuffed a Cornish Game Hen inside the turkey & she was so grossed out that it was pregnant she wouldn't eat it.
Apparently she forgot they come from eggs.
Anyway.... now that we have rabbits, next Easter I'll color some eggs & put them in or near the hutch. "Wasn't me, the rabbit must have done it."
OK, no way will she fall for that but if she does, I'm getting a divorce!
FYI jackalopes are real! She still believes that from over 20 years ago!

 

[Nibbles]

How are your herds of unicorns?

 

[RabbitDad]

How are your herds of unicorns?

Last sighting, they were happily hopping down the bunny trail.

 

[RabbitDad]

Prior to moving to our ranch, we had a typical house in the suburbs near Phoenix, AZ.
One night I noticed a couple of rabbits grazing on our lawn. Obviously escapees from a nearby neighbor.
My wife finally got the chance to see them before they wandered back home.
I was able to buy a life-sized toy rabbit, put it on the lawn & told my wife to try sneaking up from behind to try & catch it.
It was incredibly funny watching her tiptoe up to it. (While I recorded the entire event)
She was bending down to grab it before realizing it was fake.
She said bad words & called me names! Then destroyed my phone & recording! Darn... that woulda gone viral!
Some people have no sense of humor.

 

[RabbitDad]

Another time there was a bird standing on our lawn with it's beak wide open, panting because it was so hot.
I called my wife to the window to see it then said... "See that bird there? That one is a female."
She asked... "How can you tell?"
I replied... "Because she can't close her beak!"
Once again, she slapped me & called me mean names.

 

[ladysown]

she must love you to put up with you.

 

[RabbitDad]

she must love you to put up with you.

She knew the risk when she took the job.
The best part is that our son thinks & acts exactly like me.
Poor girl doesn't stand a chance.
Here's another funny story... from our point of view, not hers.
Many of you have seen the video of Bigfoot walking in the forest, beside a stream. I think it's from the 1960s/1970s.
Anyway someone compared this video to a world class runner / athlete on the exact same path.
Doing his absolute best, he couldn't match the speed of Bigfoot. (Due to the increased stride) At one point, the runner fell down.
Anyway they kept replaying the same video as they compared each aspect.
My son and I were on the edge of our seats making bets... "He's gonna make it this time!" Then act all disappointed when he'd fall down again.
My wife was livid! "Are you two retarded? It's the same video over and over!"
Of course we denied it & tried to get her to watch more as proof.
She couldn't take any more & stomped out of the room. Too funny!

 

[Nibbles]

I need her address to send some Excedrin and flowers for having 2 of you at home doing crazy stuff.

 

[RabbitDad]

I need her address to send some Excedrin and flowers for having 2 of you at home doing crazy stuff.

Got anything stronger?
A few years back we made a stupid bet over something I can't remember but I lost.
The payoff if I lost was buying her a new Dodge Challenger. (She was WAY overdue for a new car anyway.)
I somehow talked the dealership into delivering it way out here! At first we hid it behind the barn. Later that night we put it inside... knowing she'd visit her horse first thing the next morning & find the car.
After dinner that night I gave her a tiny present. A Hot Wheels toy car just like it. When she opened it I reminded her that she didn't specify size.
She said bad words! Then called me names!
She got up an hour or so before I did the next morning. When she came back in she brought me coffee in bed!
I asked her if it was safe to drink & she said "yes... I found the car!"
Pretending to be confused I asked if she lost it already.
She said "no..." she found where I hid it in the barn.
I said... "Oh Hell no! That's MY car in the barn, you got yours last night."
Next thing I remember was waking up in the hospital.
OK that last part was a lie. She said I was still a bad word but thanks, she loves her new car.