I'm torn on our schedule for next year...

[FourRingCircus]

OK, lots going through my mind... As you can see by my siggy, I am a homeschool mom of 4. I am getting things planned out for this upcoming year and am really torn on what to do. I am very much a homebody, but I also want to foster my children's interests at the same time. My oldest is a fisherman - he fishes tournaments throughout the year with my husband. He's grown up with a rod in his hands (almost literally, I have a pic of him as a NB and DH was playing around with him. At 6 or 7 months old he was on the boat, pacifier in his mouth, just reeling away! At not-quite-2 he was casting on his own and reeling in the fish.) A gentleman that used to fish on the pro-tour took him out one day. He is big into getting youth out on the water and had taken a number of kids out so that was kind of his "baseline" you could say. He came back blown away by his skill with a rod, and ODS even out fished him :lol: . I overheard him talking to someone else about how one day he would love to sponsor him. Fishing is something I want him to be able to do, and it doesn't really require much extra b/c DH is already fishing anyway.

The older two are taking piano - ODS has been doing it for a couple years, ODD just started last week. DH and I are both music people and we feel like piano is a good starting point because you learn so many of the basics plus both bass and treble cleft. They each do 30 minute lessons once a week, back to back. For now their great gma is taking them, but her health isn't great so I don't want to rely on that.

The two girls did dance two years ago, and the 3 older ones did it last year. This year all 4 are interested... unfortunately it looks like all 4 will be in separate classes. My older daughter is my laid back, go with the flow, eager to help child and she always gets the short end of the stick. Ballet is one thing she is truly good at (which is surprising given her general lack of coordination), and she loves it. The owner of the studio invited her to do competition which actually doesn't add much... just one weekend in November for intensives, then 3 competitions in the spring. I feel like ODS gets to do SO much, I want her to have something as well. The class itself is the same. Most, but not all, of the other comp students take a second class in lyrical/technique which is the other genre she was interested in. I want so bad to do it, because I feel like she does so much to help around the house, usually without complaint.

Last is our Bible study class - CBS. It's Wednesday mornings, but it's an hour away so it's a most-of-the-day affair. It's my one thing to do outside of the house and I have grown to love the women there. It's also their main group activity and they have a lot of friends there as well.

So... as of right now, next year looks like this:

Monday's will be our LONG days. ODD's ballet class would be in the 5-6:00 range, then ODS and YDD will have clogging later in the evening (7-8:30 I think? Assuming they are in separate levels, the classes will be back to back). DH and I will likely plan picnic suppers together as a family after he gets off of work b/c we live 20 minutes from the studio so to come home then go back is pointless. Then we would divide and conquer - two at the studio, two at home.

Tuesdays:
Piano lessons 3:30-4, 4-4:30
ODD's second class 5:15-6 (DH doesn't normally get home until around 6 so it won't cut into family time, and I can get errands done between lessons or during her dance)

Wednesday:
CBS - leave at 8:45-9, get home mid to late afternoon... usually we do lunch with friends then errands in the city

Thursday:
3:30-4 YDS's tumbling class

1 Saturday per month is fishing... then some extras in the fall and spring with a couple months off in the winter.

I am exhausted just thinking about it, but it's a season in life, right?

Then I go and listen to a Simply Charlotte Mason talk on simplifying schedules and life in general so we can have margin and it spoke so much to my heart and all my hesitations...

I'm so torn!! Our family motto is to encourage the forever things, and we feel dance and piano fit that bill (it's a Christian studio as well, so music and costumes are far more appropriate than any other place I have seen). We did t-ball and the first season was great - it was a fun family activity. The next? Ugly. The parents that in the previous season cheered for the kids no matter which team were yelling and screaming at them. Kids were crying, they were frustrated and throwing helmets. We walked away and never looked back, much to DH's family's dismay (sports are huge for them, and ODS did show some talent). It wasn't worth it, especially at that age.

Mainly I am the only one with hesitation - they enjoy what they do... they are excited for lessons each week (minus ODS sometimes, but I think that's thanks to peer pressure. He gets made fun of quite a bit for doing dance and piano ).

Just trying to talk it out, think it through. If I say no to one for dance, I feel like I have to tell all of them no... I don't want to have to do that. We will still have plenty of time to do school in the mornings, that won't be an issue. They have all but outgrown naps, so that's not a big deal either (I do require 1 hour of rest time for everyone, but rarely does anyone fall asleep).

 

[MaggieJ]

None of my business, Heritage, and I certainly don't mean to criticize, but do you make time for the basic 3Rs, plus geography, history, science and so forth? Everything you describe sounds to me like extra-curricular activities.

 

[FourRingCircus]

None of my business, Heritage, and I certainly don't mean to criticize, but do you make time for the basic 3Rs, plus geography, history, science and so forth? Everything you describe sounds to me like extra-curricular activities.

Yes... I did mention that at the tail end of my rambling so it probably got lost :lol: ... We are able to get the basics of school done before lunch the way our schedule is. Everything mentioned above is extra curricular, so no criticism there! That's what makes me so torn... it's nothing "necessary" for our schedule - just trying to find the balance of allowing the children to follow interests, but not get too burnt out. It's hard when, even though it's somewhat similar, they are all going different directions and at different times (especially with dance). CBS fulfills the Bible that we want in their education. Oh, and our curriculum has one light day scheduled in so I shift that around to be Wednesday (for CBS) rather than Friday (as written).

 

[MaggieJ]

So you did! My apologies . . . I somehow missed that bit. It was a very long post!

 

[FourRingCircus]

So you did! My apologies . . . I somehow missed that bit. It was a very long post!

Yes, yes it was :lol: My brain only knows wordy I think :roll: I blame it on my lack of adult communication any given day...

 

[Rainey]

I'm always saying there are many different ways to raise rabbits and that's so much more the case with children. I only had the 2 and they're long grown up so the days of juggling needs of little ones are way behind me. I did homeschool and I was never able to get a driver's license because of my impaired vision. So there were many things I wished and they wished we could have done. And so many times someone would tell me about some wonderful opportunity that one of them would just love. I used to feel fairly frustrated about my limitations. But I've come to see that there was a gift in it--a gift of time to not be hurried from one activity to another. I've come to believe that children are too often over-scheduled. At some point I began to look at the wonderful opportunity that I couldn't figure out transportation for and look at what we were doing and learning and enjoying and ask whether the new thing was worth giving up the time and things we already had. And that helped me make the decisions and not feel that they were left out or left behind because they weren't doing everything possible.
We lived in Maine then and there were contradances that many of the homeschool families attended and that we did too--but they were once a month and not a lesson but an evening with friends that involved dance and music. In the warm months families met in a park to play Tball or ultimate frisbee or fly kites or whatever. In winter the homeschool group rented a gym once a month and the kids played there. We went to those when able. There are so many ways to learn and in our experience much of it happened without any formal "lessons".
Just my opinion and memories. Wish you all the best as you seek a balance between simpler schedule and meeting your children's needs.

 

[FourRingCircus]

Thanks Rainey - My heart is at home, with laid back days, no hurrying off to this or that... time to foster creativity, enjoy the extras like handicrafts and extra art and music. But I am the only one out of our family of 6 that feels that way. DH wants them out and about (he was hesitant about HSing at first, but now is a huge supporter and my biggest cheerleader in a sea of doubters and naysayers) - he doesn't buy into the whole "socialization" issue that so many cite, but he himself grew up playing multiple sports, marching band, travel ball, etc. and even though he doesn't want to get to the level of chaos he was at, he does want them to participate in outside activities. Dance is my biggest hangup b/c that is the biggest time and money drain right now, but they light up with it. They truly love to dance. I mean, it's not horribly expensive - the prices are reasonable, plus we get a sibling discount, plus an extra discount b/c I pay in full for the year... it's enough to cover the costume and recital fees in the spring. There are things to glean - teamwork with others, confidence, getting on stage and performing, plus the coordination and health benefits. I did contemplate martial arts of some sort, something they could all do together, but it's what I want, not what they want which seems kind of selfish. As soon as recital was over they were already asking to do camps and when classes would start again. They didn't want it to end! Ugh. I just wish I could combine it all to at least one night, but it's not how the schedule is set up

__________ Tue Jul 05, 2016 8:09 pm __________

One option would be to see if I could trade piano time slots, but with two back to back, it won't be easy (it's out of her home, and she only does lessons 3 days a week with students that have been established for years)... then skip the second class for ODD. That would free up Tuesday at least. Thursday is a "light" day with the one 30 minute lesson, but with 20 minutes there and back it takes up a good chunk. I'll have to think through this some more. If I could condense things a bit more I wouldn't be quite as hesitant I don't think...

I know I have been horribly long winded with all of this, but I don't have many people I can talk it out with so thank you for lending an ear (or eyes I guess) and helping me think through it all...

 

[macksmom98]

This is a struggle with all families, public schoolers, private schoolers, and home schoolers. I can totally see the benefit of having down time and simplifying (and I am an extrovert who love to go). But you do want to encourage your kids to do things, especially since you home school. I agree that what you are describing could be things they can enjoy for life, and even if they dont always dance its good excercise and a good habit to have. If taking a break sounds nice, you could consider doing that for a semester. I am not sure what your summer has been like, but if you are enjoying down time now then maybe this is it. It is just a season, but it would be ok to take a break from the extras and just do school and bible study or someting like that. You will be the only one who can make the decision for yourself, but the important thing to remember is that if you take some time off it doesn't mean all is gone forever. Its possible to pick back up in the spring or even in a year if you decide Sometimes I feel like we can't take a break or my kids will loose time and experience and it will be too hard to go back, and there is some truth to that but its not the end of the world. Anyway, best of luck to you-lots of other mamas are feeling the same pressure this time of year, so you are not alone

 

[foresthomemama]

Hi, Heritage! I feel ya! I'm a homeschooling mom of three girls and am thinking over our activities for the fall as well. We will have dance on Mondays, Girlscouts on Tuesdays, and my oldest goes to another church activity on Wednesday. I'm a total homebody and am so busy at home with homeschooling as well as trying to maintain some sense of order and cleanliness around here :x I am a firm believer in maintaining a simple life, which is why I live in the country. However, I think I will proceed with the activities as my girls get quite a bit of experiences out of each of their activities. Don't have any advice or answers, as its a pull with me as well. I will say, though, that you are a great mom that is really working hard for your kids' education and upbringing and don't beat yourself up either way. Activities or less activities or no activities, you are still supplying rich life experiences for them. (I'm a "dabbler" in Charlotte Mason as well). You are still going to raise them up right and provide them with everything they need. You're doing great! -Molly

 

[funnies50]

hii heritage!!
as both a homeschooled kid + normal highschooler + highschool athlete, maybe i can give you a little reassurance :lol:

I've been taking piano for 4 years so far, and i do like it despite lengthy practice and recitals (i have a massive fear of those, RIP), and I've been playing tennis for as long as I can remember. my little brother, who's 10, is the #1 in the country for his tennis, but that's pretty much the only thing we share in common, since we both have very different interests and extracurricular activities. I take programming, piano, and calculus as some extra classes, while he's super active outside (esp. with tennis and karate) and doesn't like anything at all that i decide to do. My choices are clearly better, though... <

if it makes you feel any better, my mom gets more stressed than all of us put together because she's always so busy working out our schedules and whether we can do all these activities along with our normal schooling. To her credit, though, she really does encourage many other activities, and somehow my brother and i get through every day doing as much as we can. he's often in other states with his tournaments, but she forces him to do his homework over the phone even when he's across the country. :lol:

i don't think you should stress too much about it! i really understand the pressure though, i've got super busy schedules as a student. :'D moms really try though...gotta give you guys that. Maybe i'll understand someday when i'm a mom myself :x

 

[bikegurl]

I'm exhausted for you, reading that schedule... My oldest is 2...so I haven't even started thinking about extracurricular activities yet...but I do know I love to be home and would not remain sane if I had to be running around daily. I grew up with a very home-bound lifestyle though, so I don't know anything else. When I was 12 I started piano lessons, and as my siblings grew up, they each had to take piano lessons for at least a year. When we were little(under 8 or so), we only did family activities - but then we only had one vehicle and my dad worked away from the home most of the time so Mom wasn't able to drive us anywhere during the day. Both my parents are homebodies, so they preferred to stay home. We had plenty of learning opportunities at home....a barn full of animals, a workshop with wood and tools ( my dad is a carpenter), a big garden, lots of books, art supplies, sewing supplies, and a big kitchen that was constantly in use. This was before widespread internet, so we only had a computer for learning how to type. We would sometimes play Solitare or Minesweeper on it... :lol: We were homeschooled, and with such a home-bound lifestyle we were probably undersocialized, but we don't seem to be suffering as a result. We were a part of a variety of churches at different times so experienced socialization through that.
Now, my family lives in the city, so are lacking the natural learning environment I grew up with. My mom has compensated by trying to get my youngest siblings involved in activities around the city. Only the youngest two are in school anymore...everyone else has developed their own social circles and regular activities (I'm the oldest of 7). My mom sometimes complains of feeling too stressed, taking my young sister to and from multiple dance lessons per week...but my sister is 15 and pretty passionate about dancing. The other young one, an almost-15-year-old boy, doesn't seem to have many passions, other than video games, so Mom is frustrated with him, wanting him to have something he wants to pursue, and as a result I'll be doing most of his schooling this coming year. Probably very few extracurricular activities though...since I have babies.

Anyway (I guess I have the wordy problem too :shock: ), if you can remain sane and happy with that schedule, go for it! In the long run, your kids will probably appreciate a content and happy mother more than lots of fun activities...

 

[FourRingCircus]

Thanks, bikegurl. I love hearing the various sides to the stories. I went ahead and signed them up for dance... we'll see how it goes. If it's too much I know the director/owner will work with me to switch things around (there are a couple other classes that are more convenient, just not exactly what they are wanting... they could still do *something* though). I'm still not thrilled, but also seeing how close knit the older group seems, I know it will potentially be a good "social" opportunity for them (more so for the girls than the boys, obviously, since they will have more in common with the rest of the group. There are a handful of boys in the studio though).