I ended up in civil court the other day.
As I was getting out of my car, the lady exiting her car next to mine said "nice car". I replied, "thanks but it's my wife's car."
Then her husband got out & complemented me on my hat. It's an old baseball cap I was issued in Vietnam.
He was wearing a Vietnam veteran hat. So I had to return the compliment saying he obviously had excellent taste too.
Then he added he was also an Army captain because of the rank insignia on mine.
As we approached the courthouse I looked up at the American flag and it was severely faded & torn.
I was quite disgusted & said... "Look at that! That's pathetic."
He replied... "Someone needs their a** kicked for that."
About the same time an older gentleman scurried past us, looking up at the flag & shaking his head.
We get into the courtroom, have a seat & the judge enters... it's the guy who passed us outside while making threats over spanking someone for disrespecting our flag!
About then I'm realizing that my day isn't getting off to a good start.
Then the judge makes his initial announcement... "Welcome to my courtroom. If I hear your phone, I WILL confiscate it and throw it away. Either mute it or turn it off!"
Now I'm sure my day is doomed. This does not sound like a happy judge. Even worse, I'm a defendant without any defense. Not even a feable excuse. I'm about to get the death penalty or serve life in prison for not paying a bill several years ago.
This is a pre-trial for everyone so it's moving at a decent pace. The judge seems fair. Very firm, but from what I can see, following the law without getting personal or emotional about it.
About the time I'm thinking I might survive, he calls my name.
I cautiously approach the bench, with my tail between my legs, then put my hat & water bottle on the table behind me.
The judge briefly looks me over, scowls, then puts his telephone on speaker.
The lawyer for the collection agency starts in by demanding the judge rule in his favor because I haven't responded to anything.
It's my turn to talk so I say... "I don't want to say the plaintiff just lied so I'll go with he's severely mistaken." I went on to say... "I apologize to the court for wasting everyone's time as this debt it 100% legitimate and completely on me. However... in my defense, I've tried on multiple occasions to resolve this without it going this far." I produced several letters since last November as evidence that I've been trying to pay in full since I first learned of it.
Then added... "If I failed to respond to anything, how is it that a written answer was filed with the court and the fact that I knew to be here this morning?"
The judge had copies of everything right in front of him so he's kinda upset with the attorney.
I then added... "I can pay this right now if you can order him to finally accept it... without running up a bigger bill."
The judge is obviously agitated... speaking to the lawyer, he tries to confirm the initial amount due... then the lawyer, not getting the hint says... "But he now owes another billion dollars for court costs, research, clerical and attorney fees!"
The judge cuts him off & says... "Before I dismiss this case, with prejudice, is one week enough time for you to drop your suit?"
The lawyer says... "I need thirty days."
So the judge sets a court date for sometime in August. Then hangs up on him.
He turns to me & says... "If you are still willing to pay this, I suggest you send a check via certified mail."
I profusely thank him & promise that I'll send it that afternoon."
Then he tells me to ignore the scheduled court date as either way, he will end it before that.
I'm overjoyed! Feeling bold at this point I said...
"This is completely off topic but how much trouble will I get into if I try replacing the American flag out front?"
The judge replied... "I'm here five days per week and have never noticed it until this morning.
You are correct, it's disgusting! I spend x number of years serving in the USMC. I'll personally see to it that it's taken care of."
I said... "Thanks! A Marine huh? I served as well but since I had high test scores, I had better options & went in the USAF."
He asked... "If you had options why didn't you serve in a legitimate branch of the service?"
I replied... "I did, I said Air Force, not Coast Guard!"
I can hear many in the crowd behind me laughing.
Then the shocker of all time... the judge stood up, reached over his bench & shook my hand! Then says "I hope you have a great rest of the day!"
I thanked him again for his help with not just paying that stupid bill but replacing the flag.
He had already called the next case...
I turn to leave & the Army captain is just approaching the bench.
Considering we are merely feet from the judge he could hear everything (which was my intent) so I said to the Army guy... "Talk very slow & don't use any big words... the judge is a Marine. Good luck."
The judge, laughing replies... "I'll try my best to keep up with you college boys."
Then I made a beeline for the exit.
When I finally get to the door, a deputy, with his hand on the doorknob stops me... I'm thinking... "Oh great, now I stepped in it by going too far..."
The bailiff says... "In all the years working here, I've never seen the judge smile, let alone laugh. Thanks for making my day!" Then opened the door for me as if I were some sort of celebrity.
A very short time later, the Army guy came out, smiling like a clam! I waited to see how his case went.
He was there for a traffic ticket. He said the judge asked if he was also a Vietnam vet. When he admitted he was, the judge dismissed his case! Saying that he's already paid far more than the court could impose!
Both of us were in awe, we shook hands & left.
Very late that evening I was still smiling until I realized that our entire banter was part of the official court record! It was either recorded or the stenographer took it down. Either way... I made history.
As I was getting out of my car, the lady exiting her car next to mine said "nice car". I replied, "thanks but it's my wife's car."
Then her husband got out & complemented me on my hat. It's an old baseball cap I was issued in Vietnam.
He was wearing a Vietnam veteran hat. So I had to return the compliment saying he obviously had excellent taste too.
Then he added he was also an Army captain because of the rank insignia on mine.
As we approached the courthouse I looked up at the American flag and it was severely faded & torn.
I was quite disgusted & said... "Look at that! That's pathetic."
He replied... "Someone needs their a** kicked for that."
About the same time an older gentleman scurried past us, looking up at the flag & shaking his head.
We get into the courtroom, have a seat & the judge enters... it's the guy who passed us outside while making threats over spanking someone for disrespecting our flag!
About then I'm realizing that my day isn't getting off to a good start.
Then the judge makes his initial announcement... "Welcome to my courtroom. If I hear your phone, I WILL confiscate it and throw it away. Either mute it or turn it off!"
Now I'm sure my day is doomed. This does not sound like a happy judge. Even worse, I'm a defendant without any defense. Not even a feable excuse. I'm about to get the death penalty or serve life in prison for not paying a bill several years ago.
This is a pre-trial for everyone so it's moving at a decent pace. The judge seems fair. Very firm, but from what I can see, following the law without getting personal or emotional about it.
About the time I'm thinking I might survive, he calls my name.
I cautiously approach the bench, with my tail between my legs, then put my hat & water bottle on the table behind me.
The judge briefly looks me over, scowls, then puts his telephone on speaker.
The lawyer for the collection agency starts in by demanding the judge rule in his favor because I haven't responded to anything.
It's my turn to talk so I say... "I don't want to say the plaintiff just lied so I'll go with he's severely mistaken." I went on to say... "I apologize to the court for wasting everyone's time as this debt it 100% legitimate and completely on me. However... in my defense, I've tried on multiple occasions to resolve this without it going this far." I produced several letters since last November as evidence that I've been trying to pay in full since I first learned of it.
Then added... "If I failed to respond to anything, how is it that a written answer was filed with the court and the fact that I knew to be here this morning?"
The judge had copies of everything right in front of him so he's kinda upset with the attorney.
I then added... "I can pay this right now if you can order him to finally accept it... without running up a bigger bill."
The judge is obviously agitated... speaking to the lawyer, he tries to confirm the initial amount due... then the lawyer, not getting the hint says... "But he now owes another billion dollars for court costs, research, clerical and attorney fees!"
The judge cuts him off & says... "Before I dismiss this case, with prejudice, is one week enough time for you to drop your suit?"
The lawyer says... "I need thirty days."
So the judge sets a court date for sometime in August. Then hangs up on him.
He turns to me & says... "If you are still willing to pay this, I suggest you send a check via certified mail."
I profusely thank him & promise that I'll send it that afternoon."
Then he tells me to ignore the scheduled court date as either way, he will end it before that.
I'm overjoyed! Feeling bold at this point I said...
"This is completely off topic but how much trouble will I get into if I try replacing the American flag out front?"
The judge replied... "I'm here five days per week and have never noticed it until this morning.
You are correct, it's disgusting! I spend x number of years serving in the USMC. I'll personally see to it that it's taken care of."
I said... "Thanks! A Marine huh? I served as well but since I had high test scores, I had better options & went in the USAF."
He asked... "If you had options why didn't you serve in a legitimate branch of the service?"
I replied... "I did, I said Air Force, not Coast Guard!"
I can hear many in the crowd behind me laughing.
Then the shocker of all time... the judge stood up, reached over his bench & shook my hand! Then says "I hope you have a great rest of the day!"
I thanked him again for his help with not just paying that stupid bill but replacing the flag.
He had already called the next case...
I turn to leave & the Army captain is just approaching the bench.
Considering we are merely feet from the judge he could hear everything (which was my intent) so I said to the Army guy... "Talk very slow & don't use any big words... the judge is a Marine. Good luck."
The judge, laughing replies... "I'll try my best to keep up with you college boys."
Then I made a beeline for the exit.
When I finally get to the door, a deputy, with his hand on the doorknob stops me... I'm thinking... "Oh great, now I stepped in it by going too far..."
The bailiff says... "In all the years working here, I've never seen the judge smile, let alone laugh. Thanks for making my day!" Then opened the door for me as if I were some sort of celebrity.
A very short time later, the Army guy came out, smiling like a clam! I waited to see how his case went.
He was there for a traffic ticket. He said the judge asked if he was also a Vietnam vet. When he admitted he was, the judge dismissed his case! Saying that he's already paid far more than the court could impose!
Both of us were in awe, we shook hands & left.
Very late that evening I was still smiling until I realized that our entire banter was part of the official court record! It was either recorded or the stenographer took it down. Either way... I made history.
