What should I do?

If you don't know some of the back story to this read my rant so-tired-of-living-here-t1458.html .

Despite my best efforts and even studying a semester a head of time I am failing french class. I've been diagnosed as having an autism spectrum disorder (aspergers but I believe that term is no longer considered correct) multiple times by different psychiatrists. I don't know if that's really accurate but I go with it cause it's something people understand and it does match with my difficulties in language. I thought my extra work and desire to learn a foreign language would be enough but so far it isn't and I don't know what to do. My case worker is useless. I can't drop or fail this class otherwise I lose all financial aid and funding which will probably end my attempt to get a degree.

On to problem #3. My husband missed a lot of work last spring due to my health problems and his new manager hates him. Then today his alarm did not go off and he missed 2 hours of a 3 hour long meeting. I am absolutely paranoid he will lose his job and I will not be able to get a degree and a job that pays enough.

The rabbits really are little work and cost. They are pretty insignificant compared to everything else. We just need to solve their housing problem. On top of the rabbits though we have 2 dogs, 1 cat, 4 parakeets, and 5 sugar gliders. 3 given to us by someone who just wanted them in a good forever home. Of those animals I would go homeless before I'd give up my dog, the parakeets are only moderate work and also low cost, but the sugar gliders are high maintenance and expensive requiring lots of fresh fruits and vegetables daily, mixing up their "ice cream" which is eggs, honey, a powder supplement, bee pollen and I"m probably forgetting something, and they currently don't all get along so they are in 3 cages which all need cleaned frequently due to their eating habits. I don't think I've done much of anything with them in months from being so busy.

Who do I rehome and how? I hate to let down the person who trusted us with their gliders but we currently aren't giving them the best home. I hate to lose my younger gliders but I never have enough time to tame them. I also am not sure about giving up one of my parakeets. I know which one it would be but would it really cut work and cost enough to be worth it? How do I get my 40% grade in french to 60% or higher in the next 2months?

After my husband gets off work I'm also going to the walk in clinic for pain in my lower abdomen that's been there for about 10 days now. It keeps getting better for a day so I don't go and then I'm in severe pain later and wishing I had but last fall we went through 6-8months of tests which said I was healthy despite the symptoms I was having then. A change in medication made those symptoms go away but now I'm having new ones with pain this time. I don't really want to go through all of that again but it's starting to seriously impact my life again. I just don't know what to do to make things less stressful without getting depressed about having no animals.

Ok, if it were me the sugar gliders would have to go--noone would want you to have a nervous breakdown or flunk out of college over their animals being re-homed, after all that person rehomed them to you so they understand the work involved and opted out themselves. As to how, I'd simply offer the original owner the option to take them back or I would put up a classified ad out offering them below the usual price in your area--just get the deed done, try to choose people who have had them before and know what they are getting into.

I'd pare down to the animals I loved like family--the dog obviously, and parakeets are easy, so they can go either way. Maybe keep the rabbits if they sort out into a housing stituation that is less stressful, but not if it is going to require more stress than it will alleviate.

Then I would get a French tutor--the school may offer one at low to no cost, but seriously, this is where you max out the credit card and DO IT. It must be done, find a way. It is a college, so it has college students, and they need money. Someone is a good enough student to help you. Talk to your instructor too, they may offer you ideas of reliable advanced french students to approach. Also proactively communicating your difficulties and effort to the instructor may (unlikely but worth a try) cause them to cut you some slack and offer a way to make up some work. Post a flyer on the door of the class room if you can, but prioity #1 is pass the class, everything else comes second.

Just what I would do...Think how many animals you will be able to support once you have that college educated salary!

Sugar gliders would go, we actually rehomed our bearded dragon for the same (or very similar, anyway) reasons. If you keep a parakeet, make sure and keep two. We pared down to only our favorite parakeet a couple of times, and each time she seemed so lonely, that we always got another.

Thats what I would do.

get rid of everything but bare necessities. even rabbits, unless they are a food source than keep a pair, or trio......cut waaaaay back on everything. anything that doesnt serve a purpose...(allow yourself one pet) needs to get gone. live simple, cut back on living expenses, and frivilous luxuaries.

read POSSUM LIVING How to live well without a Job and with (almost) no Money--by Dolly Freed..an interesting older book. not to be taken seriously in all aspects. but it will give you ideas and concepts that will help you.

My animals are as important to my health as food. Like I said I'd rather be homeless than lose my dog and until my husband came in to the picture I probably would have committed suicide if my dog died. I hate my family and they have a low opinion of me. I have 1 friend in this world and she's always busy. To not have animals is to be alone and lost. Plus rabbit shows are actually giving me an opportunity to make friends. I'm not saying I need all of them but there's no way I'm cutting back to 1 pet. I'd rather go back to surviving on $1 pizzas and easy mac again. We also own a condo not a farm so we can't live off of it. It takes $600-$800 a month for a condo we don't want but can't sell. The farm we are on now is rented from a relative and I'm not allowed to do anything and have no space to store anything because of all the junk in the buildings that I'm not allowed to touch. That's in my previous thread.

Very tough situation, Akane.

I'd sell the sugar gliders... what they bring should help support the other animals until things improve. As far as the rabbits go... maybe cut back on them for awhile. Just keep a few favourites and try to make them pay for themselves.

I know how you feel about your animals. The attatchment I think is so strong, partly because they dont care who you are or what is in your past, I mean, even abused animals are sweet and can be the best animals in the world (though not ALL abused animals, I know). I would never get rid of my dog, or all my rabbits. They are definatly theraputic, and in my case, are the reason I get up in the morning, since I struggle with depression. What you have been going through is insane, and I commend you for wanting to try to fix it, even though rehoming animals is very hard, and can be painful, for a very long time.

About the french, try to find a tutor, even if it is just a friend (I know, what are those? lol) or aquaintence from the class you are in. Do you know your learning style? Research Homeschooling, and see if you can come up with some creative ways to help you learn. Finding your learning style would probably help alot, whether it be visual, aditory, hands on, or whatever, maybe the library has some videos for kids for french? Flash cards, maybe get some letters for toddler and build the words....I dont know, but I think finding out how you learn and various ways to capitolize on it would help alot with school.

I would contact the previous owner of the sugar gliders and explain that your situation is now very different from when you accepted them. Since the owner cared enough to try to find a good home he/she would certainly deserve to know that you are responsible and mature enough to own up to them now being too much for you to care for. There's no shame in that. Imagine if you were in his/her shoes and found out later the person you trusted with your little sugies went and gave or sold them to someone else without letting you know or giving you a chance to find them another home? Plus, like it or not, it sounds like you really need to focus on your studies. Rabbits, keets and even a dog are low-worry and low-maintenance compared to the needs of the sugies and having them will help you relax and concentrate on learning. The sugies will do the opposite.

Akane,
whatever must be must be.
You have got to do what is best for you!
If you are not taken care of and treated properly there will be
no them. Them meaning the animals, so, if you are not feeling safe and secure
in the situation, then YOU have got to do whatever it takes to make things
fit into your schedule and all of the things you need to do to feel comfortable.
All things must change, with that change will hopefully come freedom to relax
and enjoy the things you really want out of life.
It is ALL up to you, YOU have to make the decision as to who will stay
and who must go! I know that you will make the right choices.
Ottersatin.

yup sugar gliders need a new home
if you are n touch with the people you got them from letting them know your situation is a respectful thing to do but if you can't don't kill yourself trying to find them
if you can let a pair of parakeets go that might help your stress level too

re the french - go to the prof NOW and ask for some problem solving help
a tutor a course change - whatever ...
fess up, and move along

and hang in there

akane":ycl3n7th said:

My animals are as important to my health as food. Like I said I'd rather be homeless than lose my dog and until my husband came in to the picture I probably would have committed suicide if my dog died. I hate my family and they have a low opinion of me. I have 1 friend in this world and she's always busy. To not have animals is to be alone and lost. Plus rabbit shows are actually giving me an opportunity to make friends. I'm not saying I need all of them but there's no way I'm cutting back to 1 pet. I'd rather go back to surviving on $1 pizzas and easy mac again. We also own a condo not a farm so we can't live off of it. It takes $600-$800 a month for a condo we don't want but can't sell. The farm we are on now is rented from a relative and I'm not allowed to do anything and have no space to store anything because of all the junk in the buildings that I'm not allowed to touch. That's in my previous thread.

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sounds like you already answered your own question.

and i must stress, nothing is worth taking your own life over.

I am so sorry so much is going crazy at the same time, Akane! My daughter and my husband have Asperger's, and my son is at least dyslexic. I have seen the struggles they have had, and it's very difficult sometimes.

For the animals, I agree that the sugar gliders really should go. If the previous owners were really particular about them being with you in particular, then it might be good to contact them (if you EASILY can) to explain that your situation has changed, and so you can no longer care for them like you could before. Any reasonable person would understand and be supportive of you finding a new home for them. If, however, all they wanted was a good home for the sugar gliders, then you can still give that to them with a new owner, without worrying about contacting the previous owners first. Yes, they wanted them to have a good "forever" home, but stuff happens in our lives, and some things have to change. Paring down to one set of parakeets would probably be good, too.

As for the French, I agree also that you need to get to your professor asap and see if he/she has any ideas or help available for you... any way that he can help you pass the class. If you are a member of your local library, you may be able to access Mango (a foreign language program) for free. You may also try Rocket French, which is a lot cheaper than Rosetta Stone, but has things like games available to help you drill and learn. http://www.rocketlanguages.com/ We tried the Spanish, but we're switching to French. We have free access to Mango, so I'm going to try that for my daughter.

The abdominal pain could be irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), which used to be known as spastic colon. I have this, and it all started when I was in college and under a lot of stress. There is a supplement called Digestive Advantage Irritable Bowel Syndrome. It's basically a probiotic that is specifically designed to help with IBS. It is not a medication. I need to get more consistent with taking it, because it really helps with the pain, but I don't always have pain. I also take FiberChoice, because IBS can cause severe constipation (as well as severe diarrhea). IBS is diagnosed by flexible sigmoidoscopy (barium enema), though your doctor may try treating for it without running such a test.

Sorry if that's all TMI, but I hope it helps...

I second stress causing abdominal pain--though I have never been diagnosed with IBS, in periods of extreme stress, I used to feel like I was being twisted in half just between my hip bones each afternoon. It went away when I was able to reduce my stress.

I have also had other stabbing pains higher in my stomach that I attribute to stress. And then there was last spring when a chunk of hair just magically fell out...wow, I might be a little nuts, you know? where's the straightjacket smiley?

I hope you are able to reduce your stress soon. I hope we all are. I'm going to go pet an animal...hang on.

eco2pia":23g1ej57 said:

It went away when I was able to reduce my stress.

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Mine required a course of muscle relaxers to stop the spasms, and a diet of baby food and white bread (literally!), because my digestive system could not be made to really break anything down for itself. What fun! I did, however, learn why many babies like only the fruit foods. The vegetables were nearly intolerable, and I like vegetables!

Thankfully, I haven't had a flare that bad since then!