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Um, This is getting out of hand.

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Um, This is getting out of hand.

Post Number:#1  Unread postby ButtonsPalace » Sat Jul 09, 2016 6:44 pm


So about a month ago one of my best friends passed away after her boyfriend tried to pass a slow car in front of him but, he didn't make it and ended up having to slam the brakes and they got into a wreck (T-boned on passenger side), she passed on the way to the hospital, I've been in total agreeance that it's his fault I mean he saw the other oncoming vehicle and still attempted passing. But today a post was made directly blaming him and mentioning his name. Several people are defending her saying it's her right to use his name and "everyone" know. Now obviously not everybody knows because even if I told ya'll what county I lived in you'd have to more than likely google it. I commented saying I thought it was unfair to use his name in a public post and everyone's telling me that it wouldn't matter but it does. That's his name. His legal name. It's slander. Now when he goes to get a job there's a possibility of that popping up. I mean to me if I saw something like that I'd think this person must be a dangerous murderer or something! He's killed someone! I mean that's especially what you're going to think when you don't know the person. :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil:
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Re: Um, This is getting out of hand.

Post Number:#2  Unread postby MaggieJ » Sat Jul 09, 2016 7:19 pm


Who is the "she" who posted about this? Obviously not your deceased friend, so what relationship has "she" to the accident? Was "she" there, an eye-witness?

In any case, what she is guilty of is not slander (which is verbal) but it may or may not be libel, depending on what she wrote. This is not your battle. If she has crossed the line and posted things that are untrue, the young man can sue. If what she posted is factual, then she is (I would think) not guilty of libel. Taking sides is not going to do anyone any good.

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Re: Um, This is getting out of hand.

Post Number:#3  Unread postby ButtonsPalace » Sat Jul 09, 2016 7:50 pm


It was the mom. I know this isn't my battle. It's just very rude and it's factual but I don't believe he was convicted of man slaughter or anything of the likes. I mean he probably should've been seeing as it was his reckless driving that caused it but it wasn't so she shouldn't be blasting his name all over facebook. IMHO
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Re: Um, This is getting out of hand.

Post Number:#4  Unread postby MaggieJ » Sat Jul 09, 2016 8:06 pm


It may be rude and unkind, but here is a mother who has lost her daughter because of this young man's error. She is grieving and no wonder. If she is stating as fact things that are untrue, then he has recourse through the law. If not, he needs to accept the natural consequences of his actions. IMHO.

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Re: Um, This is getting out of hand.

Post Number:#5  Unread postby Nymphadora » Sat Jul 09, 2016 8:53 pm


I agree with Maggie that this is a grieving mother. And if what she says is factual, then the young man has to live with his decisions and their consequences. I don't think posting anything so personal on a public site is wise, and it may very well have consequences of its own (in terms of the boyfriend's reputation taking a blow, which is likely). But as long as it's not untrue, there's really nothing to do but bear it. Hopefully it was a terrible mistake that he will never repeat again, and he learns from this, but having more people arguing and trying to defend or attack his character on a site like Facebook will not help anyone. The bigger it gets the more people will spread it or make it worse. Stay out of it if you still can, would be my advice, or try to back out politely if you've been dragged in. It doesn't help you any more than him.

Also, yes, this may follow him in his career. But most places do have a policy to "hear out" any convictions the potential new hire has on their record. Some states require it, some don't. And there's the occasional company that does it even when not required.

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Re: Um, This is getting out of hand.

Post Number:#6  Unread postby ButtonsPalace » Sat Jul 09, 2016 10:37 pm


Well I heard some stuff from a friend and I feel he totally deserves every bit of what he's gettin! Two days after his supposed girlfriend gets killed in a car wreck and he's riding around with some new girl and she's loving on him because he got hurt in the wreck. I think he's a pos imho I hope karma gets him good. But I don't mean this in a negative way I mean it in a lesson learning way.
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Re: Um, This is getting out of hand.

Post Number:#7  Unread postby Preitler » Sun Jul 10, 2016 4:15 am


Hm.

I had my share of bad decisions when I was younger, often simply due to lack of experience, naivety, and a hormone ridden brain that hadn't matured then. Nobody but me got hurt (fragments of an exploding rocket got me), but that was a big part good luck.

People I knew, and friends died in accidents, I saw people die on the street, a guy died in a plane I assembled, the only thing I can feel about all that is sorrow (and, in the latter case depressing panic until it was clear what caused the crash). There is no point in who's fault it was, it happend. If it was because of stupidity that doesn't change a thing, you can't fix stupid, but mostly it's just lack of experience, missing knowledge, or a second of mental blackout.

I can't imagine what it would need to feel anger, hate, or the need to blame someone for an accident, but I will never know what griefing for a child really means.

For me it's not that much different to how I feel toward animals, I cant blame them, be angry, or seek revenge, there is simply no point in that. Of course I react to whatever happend, and will act accordingly in the future, but it needs a lot to get this emotional, at least when I had some time to think about it.

Even if this guy is a jerk, imho it doesn't help to take sides. I don't know how I would react in his situation, suppressing what happend imho is not such a uncommen reaction, and are you sure that you really know what's going on and that it's not hearsay? I would just keep out of that, as I really cant imagine what is really going on inside these people.
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Re: Um, This is getting out of hand.

Post Number:#8  Unread postby ButtonsPalace » Sun Jul 10, 2016 10:17 am


Well, what's said is the fact that he saw the other vehicle coming. He told me he did yet for some reason he still tried to pass the slow car in front of him. He couldn't make it around seeing as the other person started speeding up as well. He tried to slam the brakes but apparently his brakes weren't the best and it caused the car to slide out of control and he apparently blacked out about then and the car ended up off the road. Thankfully this happened by a valley not by the river. I'm not taking the mom's side or his side. I think it's equal blame spread through the 3 people who were driving. The person driving slowly could've allowed him to pass. The person on the other side could've stopped. Around here people are morons and jerks especially when it comes to driving. I hate driving in my county it stresses me out so bad it's not even funny. Majority of the drivers are my age or they are 80. So you've got grandma in front of you while the son of a well paid man is behind you driving his brand new truck almost against the bumper of your older not so fancy car. 90% of people around here are redneck teens who like to dip, smoke, drink, speed, and show off. He's a jerk for the simple fact that he was cheating on the girl that passed and the fact that immediately after getting out of the hospital was out in town showing off how he got so hurt in his wreck with what he was saying was his girlfriend. I have personally spoke to him and heard nothing about it but several people who hang around him *His close friends that not all of like me to much were telling me this same story* I hate that she's gone and I miss her an unbelievable amount I can't even begin to imagine what it might be like for her mom! I don't think it was fair of her to post his name even though he should have to stand up for what he did. But I don't think we should repeatedly almost make a public reminder for this kid after a month. I mean he has his own things going on and then seeing a ton of one month posts has to be rough for him, I don't want to stand up for him. I don't hardly ever talk to anyone really outside of my house, I on occasion talk to some friends but that's not often. I talked to about 5 or 6 different people that are around him like his very close friends. None of them knew he was with the girl who passed they thought he was just with this new girl. I told them that he said they were together and one or two of his best friends new. So he was cheating on the girl he was in the wreck with.
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