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The neighbor - Round 2!

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The neighbor - Round 2!

Post Number:#1  Unread postby HansenHomestead » Tue Mar 29, 2016 10:22 pm


Some of you had read my post mid-last spring about our neighbor getting this panties in a twist about one of his barn cats giving on the hottest day of the year in the sun, and my bringing cat, and the kittens into my garage to cool off for a moment. After a few weeks of ignoring each other he gracefully pulled his head from his rear, and apologized. Since then we have all been getting along like we used to. Until this morning that it... :?

Yesterday I got a text from the neighbor asking if my husband was home. I said yes he is, but he is resting in bed. He woke up sick this morning, and took the day off. He said, I have something to ask him, can you send him over? I told him again that my husband wasn't feeling good, and asked him what he needed. He said he didn't need my husband to do any kind of work he just needed to ask him something. So I relayed the message to Jess (husband,) and he told me to just tell the neighbor to come over here, and ask him. So I did.

The neighbor came over, and joked around with us for a moment, then started to tell us that he mom was in a bad way, and wanted to know if Jess could cosign on a $2,000 loan from the bank to help her keep her car. (Now we know his mom quite well, and she is a very sweet lady, and we trust her.) After some thought Jess said that he would be willing to help her. The neighbor gave us the name, and number of the bank he needed to call, and went home. Jess processed to call the bank. The woman at the bank started to ask the general questions that would be asked when taking out a loan, but then it lead into A LOT of deeper questions. More than he had been asked when we got the $150,000 loan he took out to buy the house we're living in now. I mean she asked where we live. How many bedrooms are in the house. How much land we own, how many cars we own, what mortgage company are we with. How much we pay for mortgage, when we pay mortgage, WHAT TIME we pay it. It made Jess very nervous so he stopped in the middle of the call, and told her that he did not feel right giving that much info for cosigning a $2,000 loan. So he said that he would talk with the neighbor, and call her back. After he hung up, he told me that the bank just informed him that it was not a $2,000 loan. It was a $5,000 loan. So he went to the neighbors, and they all agreed that, that seemed like way too much info. So Jess said hey look, I don't feel right about it, I'm thinking about not doing it, and he came back home. After a few hours the neighbor text again, and said oooooh it's just routine, they ask that stuff all the time now, go ahead, and call them back, and finish! Jesse said I still don't feel right about it, let me sleep in it.

Now I know my husband, and for him to lose sleep of something is RARE, but he was up all night last night stuck between helping the neighbors mom, or possibly putting his own family at risk, because if they didn't make payment the entire loan is on him. When we got up this morning he had decided that he did not want to do it, and I could tell that he was upset that he could not help, but it was NOT worth sending ourselves down the tubes over it. So he text the neighbor, and told him that he feels really bad, but he just can't sign off on it. He was okay-ish with $2,000, but $5,000 was not going to happen. The neighbor got upset, and sent Jess 20 texts in an hour. To which Jesse ignored, because he felt bad enough. After sometime the neighbor sent Jesse a text admitting that the loan was NOT for his mom, and it was actually for him, and if we don't help his power is going to be shut off, and they are going to take his semi. Jesse again did not say anything back. Later on the neighbor text him again saying. I'll take it no is your final answer then?! This time Jess did reply he told him. Yes [insert neighbors name here] my finale answer is no. I can't put my own family at risk like that. If ONE payment was to be missed, they come to me looking to make that $140 payment each month until that loan is paid off, and guess what? That $140 is exactly what we have to live off of each month. That's food, gas, all the feed for animals, basically everything we need a month except bills, I am really sorry, but I can not do it.

The neighbor replied. WOW!!! Just WOW! You're not a real friend. A real friend doesn't promise to help you then back out a day later, I can't believe you. I have nothing to say to someone like you, but that's okay. I have a BETTER friend who is going to help anyways!

Of course Jess was seeing red by this point, but did not respond. Ya know, the neighbor is an okay guy when he isn't asking you to hand him money, or whining that he's not getting this way. This is the third time he has asked Jesse to sign off on a loan for him, and at one point he out right asked Jesse to just hand him $2,000 so he could get the title back to semi. :evil:

I honestly do not understand grown people like this. He is almost 50 years old, hasn't worked in 3 years, because "something" always happens to him, and it stops him from being able to work...

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Re: The neighbor - Round 2!

Post Number:#2  Unread postby macksmom98 » Tue Mar 29, 2016 10:48 pm


Wow, I have heard of different situations like this and it always amazes me how upset people can get when they are the ones needing your help, be it financial or otherwise.....some good advice? Never do any type of loans for people. Ever. Even for family. If you need to help someone give them the money, as a gift, and leave it at that. The borrower is slave to the lender, and no matter what side you are on it will be a problem and change your relationship, whatever it may be...and that's the very least that could happen. Your husband did a good thing by thinking of your family first.

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Re: The neighbor - Round 2!

Post Number:#3  Unread postby Miss M » Wed Mar 30, 2016 12:42 am


I am so sorry y'all have to live next to this guy. :(

Your husband made absolutely the right decision. And the other guy has a warped concept of "friend". He outright lied to your husband, and then it was bait-and-switch time. Wow.
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Re: The neighbor - Round 2!

Post Number:#4  Unread postby Zass » Wed Mar 30, 2016 2:20 am


macksmom98 wrote:...some good advice? Never do any type of loans for people. Ever. Even for family. If you need to help someone give them the money, as a gift, and leave it at that. The borrower is slave to the lender, and no matter what side you are on it will be a problem and change your relationship, whatever it may be...and that's the very least that could happen. Your husband did a good thing by thinking of your family first.


:yeahthat: I find, by the end of it the borrower usually resents the lender, and it can completely destroy a relationship.
Whereas, when requests like that are refused outright, relationships can usually be maintained just fine.

A lot of poisonous people are very likable when they are not acting crazy. :roll:
I would not have accepted any kind of financial request from this person.
Also, I would NEVER EVEN CONSIDER continuing to even be on friendly terms with someone who has lied to me repeatedly in an attempt to get me to take financial responsibility for their borrowed money.
Maybe that's just me. Simply put, I DO NOT LIKE drama, or anything that causes unnecessary stress. It's amazing how much more easily one can sleep at night with none of that kind of nonsense to worry about.

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Re: The neighbor - Round 2!

Post Number:#5  Unread postby Marinea » Wed Mar 30, 2016 8:00 am


"Get his title back" makes me think your neighbor is in to a title loan company. The fact this isn't the first time tells me he is in bad. I have no doubt you and your husband would end up on the hook...and soon.

You dodged a bullet.

Maybe I woke up cynical this morning, but if they are as desperate as they sound, keep an eye on anything not tied down around your place. He might feel you "owe" him and come looking for "his" money.
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Re: The neighbor - Round 2!

Post Number:#6  Unread postby MoonSpiritMom » Wed Mar 30, 2016 9:13 am


So... Here's the thing. It won't matter if you handed him the money, signed the loan, refused him out right.. He would have gotten his panties in a bunch anyways. There is a continuous stream of people out there who believe they are entitled to things that do not belong to them. "I'm in debt because I'm an idiot and so i wont take responsibility for my actions at all and then beg you to be the grown up and handle my crap for me. But when you refuse I'll start being a jerk and take every little thing you do as an offence to my way of life"

Like dude... you are 50 years old... get over yourself and pay some damn bills. And further more... How DARE he even ask... You owe him NOTHING and how dare he get angry with you because you are thinking of your own family. He would essentially take food from children!?
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Re: The neighbor - Round 2!

Post Number:#7  Unread postby FourRingCircus » Wed Mar 30, 2016 9:54 am


Yeesh... what a character. So sorry you have to live next door to him... that would make me a bit nervous, to be honest. I think you have already come to the conclusion that co-signing a loan is not a good plan, but if not, I will put it in caps - DON'T DO IT! Knowing what you know about him, an the fact that a 50 year old man needs a cosigner on a relatively small loan amount, HUGE red flags that it won't be a good end for you guys. I am a Dave Ramsey fan and there are a lot of "Stupid Tax" stories on his site from cosigning loans. They get all that information on you because it's your credit they are relying on (since it's obvious that his credit is sub par and the bank doesn't trust him to actually pay it off).

Money (both in excess or lack there of) can make people crazy. I hope your husband doesn't take it to heart, but I know it would bother me as well. Hopefully, maybe one day, he'll see how stupid he was to carry on like that... but likely he won't :(
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Re: The neighbor - Round 2!

Post Number:#8  Unread postby macksmom98 » Wed Mar 30, 2016 11:10 am


Love Dave Ramsay too Heritage!

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Re: The neighbor - Round 2!

Post Number:#9  Unread postby Preitler » Wed Mar 30, 2016 2:39 pm


A loan to keep a car? What? Never ever. Not even to buy a car.

You sure can get a car that will work for less than 700$ (the one I bought 4 years ago was 600€, still runnning fine and cheap), everything else is luxury if you cant afford it easyly.

I "lost" about 9000€ by helping neighbours, who are still my best friends, but I will never see that money again. Doesn't matter. I had it, and I have a very, very cheap lifestyle and earn more than I need now.

Never, ever in my live did I take a loan, cosigning for a car of someone else - never ever. I did, and would help really close friends when it's something serious like losing their home, or a medical emergency, not by means of a bank loan though, but for a luxury item? When my neighbour was short on money I shared my car with her for years.

No, they are not starving, so no need to feel bad not doing something about their unability to finance their a little too posh lifestyle.

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Re: The neighbor - Round 2!

Post Number:#10  Unread postby macksmom98 » Wed Mar 30, 2016 6:08 pm


An easy way to get out of it is just to say you have been burned in the past and it's a family policy not to loan money, ever. Give time, food, a ride when you can, but don't feel obligated or even consider helping someone who is outside your household, and if you do, as I said before, give freely without expecting to be paid back...

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