Im breaking down.

I know I am being silly, but I dont want to move. I cant stop crying. caelin has been crying for the tv, and he broke into tears when the couch sold. I dont want to start over again. I have so many freinds here now, why did I have to make freinds with people when we got fired? I feel like Im losing everything. I am scared it wont work out, but we are guarrenteed to be homeless if we stay. What a shitty birthday present this year.

Last year was so happy, I got a job, found out we were having a baby a week later, and I really thought we'd be here for a few years. I had so many plans, but it was so short...it only lasted a year, then nothing. now we're moving, and as much as I tried and thought I was happy about it, Im not. I DONT WANT TO MOVE!!!

So many things are up in the air, winter is coming, and we have a camper, but think of being snow bound in a camper with two babies?!

Im sure everything will be fine, and I try to put it in gods hands, he has always provided for us before....but it is really so hard. I dont know. Hubby doesnt understad, and my freinds here arent moving. I guess I just needed to bawl it out to someone.

That's a daunting task, no question about it. One of my friends in the USAF is doing that in Louisiana, having relocated from Alaska after retirement and selling his house. They had a youngin in tow, as well.

At the end of my AF career, I found myself relocating to NW Arkansas from Anchorage, AK, and it was about as short-lived as what you're describing. I had made several new friends, and it seemed I had barely gotten to know them when my place of employment closed its doors. I hated moving each time, too. Once I got settled here, it took a bit, but I finally realized that it was all for the best.

Keep your chin up. Things will get better for you soon enough, you and your family will make new friends where you're headed to, and the move will seem to have been quite worth it by the time it happens. It will especially seem that way when you look back and realize that you had no choice but to move in the first place.

Whatever you do, don't start telling yourself it cannot get any worse. It practically always does and will do so.

Oh Shara! It WILL be okay. You have your wonderful husband (they NEVER understand the nesting thing...NEVER...until they get to be about 50ish) The kids will learn to love READING and...PUPPETS! and fun with MA!! Maybe start listening to radio with them..if you can find an "old time radio" station with the radio mysteries, or like "The Shadow!" or "the adventures of Tarzan!" my GOD those are good shows Your imagination fills in ALL the details.

Friends. yes, it's really hard to lose that. But in the new place that you find, you'll make new friends, and the kids will learn those important social coping things...how to trust people, how to read people, how to meet NEW people. So many folks that stay in the same place for decades...while they make long lasting friends...they can quite often end up with a VERY narrow viewpoint.

It's your family that counts, in the long run. Loved ones. But when you get settled, wherever it is, make it a priority to join a knitting club, or local PTA or something. Get out there and contact people. Don't be afraid of losing them again. Even a brief friendship can last forever

Put the baby in a bubble bath, make yourself a cup of tea and rest a bit. Cry it out. You are allowed.

You will do this because you have to, and that is what Mommas do. I moved 13 times in 10 years, partly as a single parent. You can do this, take refuge in your kids, and be creative. They are young enough to believe you when you say, "Ah we don't need no stinkin' TV! Look at this cool box! You wanna climb in and make a new house out of it??"

Just remember that feeling crappy about it is part of the process, like labor is part of having kids, and neither one lasts very long but both suck while you are there. And all you can do is not panic and ride it out. You've had 3 kids, you don't scare easy!! So deep breath, and ride it out, this too shall pass.

Yeah, 2 babies in a camper is gonna suck. Invest in good snow suits for them (from good will/value village), and learn where your library, cafes, the local McDonald's playland, and other free/cheap places to hang out are going to be. If you are so inclined, look around for a church with lots of kids in it, they are really helpful people and sometimes have mid-week programs for kids. Hopefully something bigger will turn up quickly. Sign up for Freecycle.org and see if you can't score a good jogging/biking stroller and get them out in a little buggy that keeps the wind off. Above all, GET OUT and keep 'em busy or you'll go batty. E-mail me anytime, I got a million ideas for occupying rugrats with more time than money. It was self-preservation!

I am sorry to hear that Shara,
but you are strong, you are brave and you have
the courage to face any task that comes your way.
You are a Mother! When God closes a door, HE opens a window.
Everything happens for a reason. You have got to believe
that reason is for you to move on to bigger and better things.
I know that all things will fall into place.
Keep your chin up and look to the stars,
take a walk in the Sun and be of good cheer.
Everything will work out for the best.
Dennis, C.V.R.

Just got in and saw this thread, Shara. Everyone has already said all the good things I would have and more. So I'll just send you big (((HUGS))) and say that this will pass, it will get better and you are strong enough to meet the challenges ahead. Cry a little, it's allowed, and then dry your eyes and look for the silver linings in those storm clouds. I'm big believer in silver linings.

I don't have much to add to the good comments here, just to say to let it out if you need to and lean on someone if necessary. I've been through some dark times in my life that I thought were going to be the end but the storm will pass and there is always sunshine on the other side. I wish you safe passage through this storm.

Also, in this age of the internet, you can keep in touch with the friends you are leaving, they are not gone forever.

Just wanted to chime in and say you've got us all behind you, Shara, and many of us have been in at least relatively similar situations. So no one here is going to get on you for bawling or venting or anything. You've got lots of shoulders to cry on here.

(((HUGS)))

You just never know what God has for you down the road with this move. Or what He's saving you from, either. We had the privilege of finding some of it out the week after we moved. You may never find out. But trust Him; He's not going to fail you.

As long as you have your computer, you can do a search for "old radio shows". You'll be amazed at the cool stuff that's out there!

Well, I won't quote everyone.. but if I did.. it'd be about everyone!

As with all, this too shall pass.

loverya, momma

Thank you guys! You are all so sweet and supportive, and I will NOT get rid of my computer...there will probably be a few weeks that I have to go to the library if I want to use the web, but there are usually libraries in town and I know that there is one there, not too far from my gramma's house.

I think it would be a good idea to learn more things to do with the kids. TRistan has been cranky, but we found out today that he is DEFINATELY teething, and Caelin is always calmer when Tristan is, so that's good. We decided to make it like a campout in the living room, so we all out sleeping on the floor now, lol. Sharing the bed really does seem to give Caelin more confidence and happiness the next day. Ithink that is because he is afraid of the dark, but obviously he cant have his loight on (he insists it is still dark with his night light, lol.

I took a breathe and realized all my problems I was having with the yard sale was because I was scared, and I was able to let go of the bunkbeds, our couch, tv, a handmade basinett I gave to my friend who is expecting (I went and cried over that one, I really like that bassenet) and I even sold my bed and all our dressers. Tommorrow a bunch of toys are going out (yipee, more Caelin tears) and more clothes. We sold our movies, and the nice desk that I sit on every day while I am on here. But like Scott said, "How are you planning to move all this over there?" we can't afford that.


Because we both had a hard day today, we went to the all you can eat buffet, and had yummy seafood, I got to try seaweed salad (it was good) and believe it or not, Caelin did really well. Maybe it's the extra time spent outdoors with the sale....we had alot of fun and were able to be goofy and hang out for a while. Then we came home and aren't packing. We are traking the night off, because we think we are undoing our own selves.

Thank you all for being there! I am amazed sometimes at the friendship and commradery you can feel about people you have never really met. I feel really lucky to have you guys (doesn't it feel easier to unload a little when you don't have to look at the other person?)

Well, gotta go. our friend is outside and I need to convince hubby he is tired, lol. There is no use for a grumpy man!

Glad you're feeling a little better, Shara. It's hard to let go and trust that the future holds good things, but you can be sure it does.

I'm sending up prayers that you will lack for no good thing and will not much miss the things you are leaving behind, that anything left behind and needed later will be replaced newer and better for you and your family. Also that the fresh ache of leaving friends that causes tears will change to the warm comfort of friends fondly remembered that brings a smile to your face when you think of them.

It is easy to panic when there is so much to do in so little time, and when you have to let go of familiar things and friends. You're in our prayers. I'll tell Ilovebunnies and Bunny-Wan Kenobi so they can pray, too. :angel:

Thanks guys... Oh, and it does get worse, lol. I have bronchitis. Which usually resolves in about 2-3 weeks. :roll: It's a little comical. I told Scott today we need to just pack what we're bringing and go. I think it would be easier on everyone. Lol.

Definitely thanks for the prayers.

Don't worry about it. Most anyone who's ever been in that situation has felt the same way. I literally broke down after the movers left my condo in Anchorage because I knew I was leaving a really nice area of the world behind, a place that I loved dearly. I was going back to an area where I didn't know very many people at all, and it was like stepping into a time warp.

Looking back, the move was the best for me in so many ways. Things have worked out for me rather well, despite going thru yet another job change a little over a year ago, but realistically I would have never gotten to the point where I could even have considered getting back into showing rabbits had I stayed in Alaska. I didn't realize until very recently how much I missed the showroom and having the hutches in the yard.

My point in all of this? There is a reason and a purpose for every change we are faced with in our lives. I faced it with every military PCS I ever went on, I faced it when I got married and subsequently divorced, and I faced it when I retired from the U.S. Air Force. The upcoming move may not be the last move you ever make, but then again, it just might be. When you think life is handing you lemons, make some lemonade with it.