Friends and their plans :(

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Anntann

Anntann

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Did you ever have a friend who just would NOT stop talking about their plans to do something that they know YOU want to do but just can't afford? <sigh>

I'm starting to get horribly depressed by listening to her plans. No way we can afford to even go to the MALL right now..too many things need building/fixing on the farm and in the house before winter. But she's just so enthusiastic about her trips.

oh well. I'll just have to smile and nod and look at her pictures and dream a little :)

<there. that's my depressing post for the week>
 
Oh, how sad. I have a person or two that does that (not with trips, but things I very much want). It can be hard. Think of all the good things you DO have, although I'm sure you do.
 
I think it would mainly bother me if I thought the "friend" was doing it as a kind of one-up-man-ship. And the cure for that would be to lose the "friend". If it stems from genuine enthusiasm, innocent of ulterior motives, try to be happy for her. If that doesn't work, maybe a straight talk about how you feel might clear the air. Although I don't know... I don't know if I could say to a true friend that I don't want to hear about it because it makes me green with envy. (((HUGS))) Envy is no fun. :( But I think we've all been there, one time or another.
 
Wow, yeah, I have been on both sides of that. You deserve a cheering section for your hard work! :clap:

And if all else fails I'd take a mini vacation for just one evening...:drunk:
 
I've only had real trouble with that when friends have gone and bought land. With no debt. :razz:

Other friends who talk about buying this, shopping that... I just think about their credit card balances, and that heads off any envy that may have tried to sneak up on me. So if your friend can afford all this because she's putting it on credit, just think of how much you don't want her bills in this economy. :lol:

If she actually has the cash on hand to buy all this and make all her bills as well... then I guess I'm not much help, except to encourage you to be content. Everything she buys has to be maintained.

And something I learned from my paycheck-to-paycheck mother-in-law: Always pay yourself first. A dinner out, a small but special purchase, and things like that go a long way toward helping you not feel like you are working only to pay bills and make ends meet.
 
It sort of ruin ones day when an acquaintance mentions in a matter-of-fact way that he is purchasing something (sounding like it is on a whim) that I have been saving a year for. :eek:
 
Frank...I hear ya. To top it off, this vacation cruise is going to be during my birthday. Normally, that wouldn't be a problem, but we'd already planned a dinner out, with a concert afterwards..she and her husband, and me and Mike. In her excitement over the trip, she forgot about the plans.

I've always known that she was VERY self centered. :shrug: But it's never malicious. It's just she really doesn't THINK about how it sounds to others. She's a very exuberant creature, and a lot of fun to be around, although lately she NEVER shuts up, and is starting to not listen to other people politely...which is starting to get on my nerves. When she interrupts me, I can look at her and say "sorry I was boring you" with a "look" and she gets all red and apologetic, but other people aren't that...um... forward :D
 
She may be fun, but she sounds awfully immature. I'd hate to be her... especially when her friends start to get fed up with her insensitivity.

That's something you will never have to worry about, Ann. Aren't you glad you're you?
 
MaggieJ":2lvwd6k8 said:
She may be fun, but she sounds awfully immature. I'd hate to be her... especially when her friends start to get fed up with her insensitivity.

That's something you will never have to worry about, Ann. Aren't you glad you're you?
Click to expand...
<sad sigh> I'm afraid you're right. She doesn't have a lot of "close " friends. There's me...I'm the closest, and maybe 3 others that she'll share some things with. She has a GAZILLION "friends"...but it's mostly a nodding aquaintance, maybe sees at parties, or concerts.

Ah well :) I'll get over it. Just needed to vent, I reckon! In the end, it's not that important. And I AM happy that she's able to get out and see fun things.
 
I understand. I have one of those kinds of 'friends'. The minute you tell her what you are planning, she runs out and does it. I finally quit telling her my plans and goals. She keeps wondering why I'm so stand-offish now, but it really gets under my skin.

Just from posting with you, I can tell you are a much better person than that, and that is something better than she'll ever have!
 
ARGHGHGHH!!! (sorry to bring this back up but I have to vent to someone..even if it's online to people I've never met)

She's now talking about it again at length...after saying they WEREN'T going because of money, and vacation time..and really wanted to go out with us for my birthday. Concert at the theater (Jeff Daniels) and dinner...but now it appears the trip is back on...AND they're talking about something in March now...which would cancel the big trip that a bunch of "the group" make every year down to texas.

ARRRRGHGHGHGHHH. It might just be time to go back into my shell and put up the "GO AWAY" sign.

sigh

She's just so bloody excited about it all. Her husband has ALWAYS been as tight with money as you can get...so for him to say "let's do it and in fact, I'm looking forward to it" is great. And I understand the excitement. I've felt it. It's just driving home how badly I miss traveling. I've always LOVED driving, traveling, seeing new things, meeting new people.

I rarely feel jealous of anyone..but right now...man....it's eating me up. Don;'t like the feeling at all.
 
:cry: I'm with you on the "GO AWAY" sign. Used to have a sign on a pivot that said "welcome" on one side and "go away" on the other. People are work. I want one of those again, actually. Especially when they aren't on the same page as me, tired of explaining and justifying every thought. Hard enough with family, but friends should be FUN, right? uuugh. Wish I had something warm and fuzzy to say today.

Guess I have similar issues these days, but they are in my FAMILY. DH planned a trip to Mexico without me, to go diving. OUCH. He didn't even ask me about it. Can't really afford for us both to go anyway, and I don't like to dive, but I like the BEACH! I am getting as many bunnies as I want and he better not open his mouth. Of course he doesn't like my critters and complains that they will smell, but claims his diving isn't "in my space." NO, but it is in my bank account!! And gear in my truck, and my bathroom, come to think of it. :evil:

We need wise and calming words--anyone?
 
Ugh, I am sorry, I don't have many. DH buys toys with his money, I scrimp and save mine, or spend it on animals. He complains about he animals, and tells me to buy stuff for myself. I WANT to, but I feel a resposiblity to make sure we have what I think we need, and I guess while I am providing that, he doesn't see much need to curb his own spending. That is my jealous point.

On the other hand, I love the idea of a go away sign. So many people want to talk to me, and I am not really a people person.

I tend too think we all live in our little universe, and it's amazing how many people don't get others have feelings too. And you never really know what's inside someone else's head...
 
Shara, were you and I separated at birth?

Anntann, Shara, maybe we can spin our irritations into a lovely cottage business, I am hatching a plan....We could make some of those signs and sell them. "Welcome/Go Away" and "Raising Children Is Like Being Pecked To Death By Chickens" any other cute zingers? C'mon lets make this bitter jelousy thing work for us, Anntann I know you are a poet, so jump in here...
 
I can't stand when people want to be overly involved in my scarce spare time. I see no reason to tell everyone I know every little thing that goes on in my day or invite them along for everything I do. I especially can't stand it when someone finds out some trivial thing and acts surprised I didn't tell them. Why would I??? I'm fond of, "If the phone doesn't ring, it's me." and "Raising children is like trying to nail Jell-o to a tree".
 
Ann, so sorry you're feeling bad. Your friend is being really insensitive, but you're already aware that she is immature and self-centred. No use expecting a pine tree to give you maple syrup. (((Hugs)))
 

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